Credit: ABC Family Photo: Grace & Jack Talk in Episode 3.16, "Mirrors"

ZOMG, how many times did your jaw drop during last night’s episode of Secret Life? Between Grace’s possible STI and Ricky’s attraction to his mom’s doppelganger, it was like like a Sex Addicts Anonymous group up in that joint! These OMG moments will have you running straight to the nearest abstinence club.

1. Grant drops the L-Bomb. We have to admit, we were Team Grace + Jack — until now. Grant totes won us over with his adorable declaration of love and ridiculous hair. The fact that he wants to be with Grace even though her panties are a red hot danger zone is so sweet! Now, when do we get to see him shirtless? Get tested already Grace — or none of us are ever gonna drool over Grant’s rock-hard abs!

2. Jack had sex with Adrian?! He didn’t outright say it, but he also didn’t deny it. Actions speak louder than words, and did you see how guilty Jack looked when Grace asked if he slept with Adrian? We feel bad for Grace, but what we’re really worried about is Adrian’s baby bump. If she has an infection, will it effect the health of The Sausage Princess? So help us Jack, if anything happens to that baber...!

3. Ricky is clean! Shocker. No seriously, we are blown away by this news. How is it possible that Ricky doesn’t have an STD? He’s slept with everyone on campus — even a dorky trombone player. Are his negative test results too good to be true? Maybe the Rickster should get a second opinion before he and Amy strip down to their b-day suits and get frisky.

4. Madison’s bf is 25! Last we heard Madison’s food court boss was 20. Now he’s 25? That’s almost 30, which is almost 40, which is old enough to be her father! Girlfriend, no — just no. Maddy’s only seventeen and she has the maturity of a 12-year-old. This is all kinds of illegal! Thank god her dad kicked Stanley out of the house before he had a chance to take Madison on a one-way trip to pregger-ville.

5. Ricky’s dating his mom! Yep. Ricky’s officially sunk to a new level of desperation. We always thought it was strange that he banged Amy when he had a school full of “skanks” (as Grace would say) to pound, but now it’s all coming together. Amy looks just like his mom! Blerg, we want to be grossed out, but even a little imaginary incest can’t prevent us from crushing on this boy. So Ricky has mommy issues — can you blame him?! Nora’s a total babe!

Get more highlights from last night’s episode with our recap!