Recap

Christmas has come early! And when we say Christmas, we actually mean a Secret Life of the American Teenager episode that features Ben in Santa's Workshop. Annnnnd, the holidays are officially ruined. Why, Ben, why? Can't you just peace out on a park bench somewhere and drink beer with your stuffed bear? But enough about Benny From The Block — there are important matters to be...

It's time to pour some out for our fallen homie. And when we say "some" we mean non-alcoholic beer — after all, don't want Ben to have a relapse. Unfortunately, one of our meat lovin' friends seems to be 50 shades of dead, and we have lost all faith in humanity. Basically, the only thing keeping us going is the reserve pile of sausage links we keep in our basement.

Secrets, Secrets Are...

There's only one week until the The Secret Life of the American Teenager’s Season 5 summer finale, and frankly, we don't know if we'll make it. How are we supposed to live without Ricky's words of wisdom? Not to mention the fact that we might accidentally stumble onto a "campus pimp" and get arrested for prostitution. This week, we learned all kinds of life lessons, so sit back and...

Are you ready for your weekly journey to the sausagey WTF-fest that is The Secret Life of the American Teenager? So are we, which is why we're currently surrounded by bacon and meat scraps, George Juergens style.

This week, our contraceptive-confuzzled friends and their love children brought their A-game, and let's just say things are getting real. Mostly because pimps have taken over Ricky's...

Have you guys noticed that the folks on Secret Life are super smart? First, Ricky blew our minds when he was crowned valedictorian, then Adrian got into college (LOL), and now Jack has revealed that he's a fan of Dr. Zhivago. We're starting to think our pregnant friends and their virile baby-daddies are geniuses, and it's all thanks to another brilliant episode of Secret Life.

Daddy's Girl

A...