Recap

Like most delicacies, Secret Life of the American Teenager should be enjoyed with a fine bottle of boxed wine or a Shirley Temple (if you're under 21 — or pregnant.) This week's episode was even more dramalicious than usual, so we suggest you sip some liquid gold and munch on some "meat scraps." Just remember to break out your "fancy sausage" — after all, it's not every day that...

Sigh. Another day, another beautiful WTF-tastic episode of Secret Life. This week, our favorite show tackled all kinds of controversial material, specifically The Man Upstairs. And no, we're not talking about Ricky, though, yes — he does live upstairs. We're talking about God, aka The Creator Of Ricky's Coif. Gird your loins, ladies — things are about to get spiritual.

In The...

Ladies, it's time to fry up some breakfast sausage and break out your life-size Ricky poster. Secret Life is bringing major drama this week, and a cuddle sesh with our body pillow is pretty much the only thing that's getting us through this soulacoaster of emotions.

Toga, Toga!

The girls just can't stay away from Ricky. Try as this stud might to be a dedicated house husband who knits doilies...

Secret Life took a short hiatus for July 4, and we're experiencing all kinds of horrifying withdrawal symptoms as a result. Let's just say we spent the week slathering bacon grease in our hair and binge eating breakfast sausage.

Luckily, our favorite show and its professional sperminators are back and better than ever, and this week is even more dramatic than usual. Mostly because Ben might...

The time has come to mentally prepare for the beauteous WTF fest that is Secret Life's 100th episode.

To celebrate, the gang are serving up an hour of twists, turns, and baby bumps. Oh, and did we mention that there's musical number wherein tiny cutouts of Ricky's face float around screen? Because yes, that happens.

I Think I Wanna Marry You

It's senior year at Grant High, and you know what...