The Vampire Diaries

The Vampire Diaries is a show where witches can bring back people from the dead, vampires kiss humans instead of ripping their throats out, and werewolves have silky smooth chests when they haven’t transformed. And we accept all of this without the blink of the eye. Yet it’s the little things that make us scoff and say, “that would never happen.” Check out the biggest logic fails from Season 3, Episode 15, “All My Children.”

Elena sober dials
Look, if that bloody champagne toast had gone to Elena’s head, and she booty-called Damon and Stefan at 3 a.m., we would let it slide. But in the harsh light of day, after Stefan had flat-out rejected her again, and she sent Damon spiraling into a bourbon bottle, we’re meant believe she’s eager to ring up the Salvatore brothers? Given her testiness during her brief conversation with Damon, it’s not as if she felt she owed him an apology. Basically, this was all orchestrated to show them ignoring Elena — and giving her a reason to see a shirtless Damon with Rebekah.

Rebekah’s walk of shameless
Okay, how did Rebekah’s hair actually look better after hooking up with Damon than it did the night of the ball? Is that a vampire superpower we haven’t yet learned of?

Bonnie’s spellin’
That sage spell Esther did to muffle her conversation with Elena sure would come in handy if the kids ever wanted to whisper in class — too bad they never go to those. So why was Bonnie practicing that spell so hard? Yeah, we have no idea.

Elena’s a human lie detector
When Elijah and Elena were having their romantic stroll in the woods (you know, before he kidnapped her), he said he knew she was lying when her heart sped up. Doesn’t Elena lie to vampires all the time? Didn’t she lie to him at the ball the other night? How come this extra-sensitive ability is just kicking in now?

How’d you miss those hieroglyphs?
Remember when Alaric spent days poring over every symbol in the cave, only to have Elena come along and decipher that Klaus was the one to kill the Original witch? That must have stung. He must have been day drunk during his studies because he also missed that hieroglyph of the new white ash tree Rebekah casually glimpsed on a cell phone pic. Get it together, Saltzman!
Kill the kids
We can see where the Original siblings get it from: Their ruthless mother doesn’t think it’s enough of a balance to simply restore her offspring to human form — she also wants them to die. Way harsh, mama.

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