Do you know what was glorious about the Season 2 finale of Teen Wolf? It didn’t end on a cliffhanger. It’s not that there weren’t cliffhangers — there were unresolved moments aplenty. But the last episode went out with Scott and Stiles playing lacrosse, proving that this is the one relationship that can withstand anything.
Let’s back up. The show opens with a dripping body bag. But the clear goo isn’t blood, and Mrs. McCall wants to ride with Jackson’s corpse to the hospital. We have to give her props for bravery.
Stiles ends up in the Argents’ basement with Boyd and Erica. Everyone is very much alive, but the werewolves are hanging from the ceiling. This family just loves to handcuff supernaturals and suspend them from their wrists.
In the boys’ locker room (where he does his best police work) the Sheriff is trying to be professional, but he’s really worried about his son. Scott and Isaac try to reassure Stiles’s dad before he runs off to deal with Jackson’s on-field suicide. (Good luck trying to cover it up, Sheriff. You know it’s going to land on Huffington Post’s “Weird News” page within the week.)
The final game of the lacrosse season has the Coach feeling a tad misty. “It’s not like I hate you guys,” he tells Scott. “I’m just saying, I need you on the team.” That means Scott has to put more time into his school work and less time in trying to take down villains if he wants to stay on as co-captain next year. This makes us wonder if the Coach will live to see the end of the episode. You can’t make a speech like that — there’s even a heartfelt score playing underneath — and live (unless it’s from Independence Day).
While the Sheriff is putting out APBs for Stiles, Scott decides to track his buddy via the musty odor of his shoes and shirt. Isaac is not impressed. (Probably because he totally wants to replace Stiles as Scott’s BFF, right?)
Derek and Peter arrive in the locker room. “We need to talk.,” says Derek. “All of us,” Peter chimes in.
Stiles is playing hero, but he gets electrocuted by Erica’s and Boyd’s cuffs. Cue Gerard’s entrance. He’s all sad that he can’t torture Derek’s whereabouts out of the werewolves because their allegiance to their alpha is too strong. Be afraid, Stiles! Though the high schooler warns Allison’s grandfather that Scott’s probably en route to the Argents’ house as they speak (apparently they’ve discussed the whole “werewolves are basically bloodhounds with pointier ears” phenomenon before), Gerard decides he has time to beat the snark out Stiles. Never underestimate the power of old-man strength.
Scott isn’t happy to see Peter. Before they can get down to how the former burn victim is alive again, Derek complains that Scott was in cahoots with Gerard. When Scott points out that Gramps threatened Mrs. McCall, Peter agrees the littlest werewolf did the right thing because his mom “is gorgeous.” Both Scott and Derek shush the creepy uncle. Poor Isaac is lost, so Scott fills him in on how Peter was once totally dead. (“That’s good to know,” deadpans Isaac.)
“How is he alive?” Scott asks Derek, who dodges the question, because, obviously the alpha still doesn’t really know. Regardless, Peter knows how to help Jackson. Too bad, say Scott and Isaac, because Jackson is dead. “Why is no one taking this as good news,” Isaac wants to know. Geez, guys. Jackson was kind of a jerk, but he was still a person. Sort of. Anyway, Peter says Jackson’s death must have been part of Gerard’s evil plan to take over the world and become the growliest sing since Clint Eastwood.
Over at the Argents’, Chris walks in on Gerard telling Allison to get some rest. “What happened at the lacrosse game?” Chris asks his father. “Didn’t you hear? We won,” says Gramps, meaning both the match and the fact that a teenage boy is lying in the morgue leaking translucent sludge.
Guess who else doesn’t care about Jackson? Allison. She blames Derek for everything from Jackson’s transformation into the kanima (did no one tell her Matt was taking Photoshopping her into his life?) to her mother’s death (fair, but she doesn’t have all the facts). “What about Scott?” Chris asks. “What if he dies, too?” He’s worried about what his little girl is turning into. Allison thinks her dad should be proud, since she’s doing what he wanted her to do. Actually, Chris points out, she’s doing what Gerard wants. Then he disarms her crossbow.
Mrs. McCall uses her all-access pass to the hospital to enter the morgue. Black goo drips onto the floor from Jackson’s body. Though she’s a little nervous, she ladys up and unzips the bag.
Mr. S is looking for clues in his son’s room when Stiles shows up bloodied and beaten. “Who did it?” the sheriff demands angrily. Stiles blames the rival team, and after getting protective, the father and son hug.
Peter finds his laptop under the Hales’ stairs, because that is this century’s filing system. “The Argents aren’t the only one keep records,” says the tech-savvy ghost-type-thing. Then Mrs. McCall phones Scott, because it looks like Jackson is covered in some sort of hard plastic wrap and his claws are showing. Let’s hope the medical examiner doesn’t show in the next ten minutes, because that would be awkward.
A sad Stiles lies on his bed. There’s a knock on the door, and It’s Lydia. After a few moments, he finally invites her in. “They won’t let me see him,” says Lydia. “I’m supposed to give him something. He kept asking for it back.”
At the morgue, Scott and Isaac are baffled by Jackson’s condition. When the kanima starts to growl and show his unsightly teeth, Scott begs his mom to zip the body bag back up. Why don’t you zip, Scott? You’re the one who can heal.
In his basement, Chris Argent tells the werewolf prisoners that he knows the right amount of electricity to keep them immobilized. Then he opines about the line between the natural and the supernatural and when they blur. Then he fiddles with the dials.
Lydia finds all the gifts Stiles didn’t give her for her birthday, which seems to make her realize just how much he likes her. Then Scott texts Stiles for the 18th time, and Lydia, who’s been holding his phone, says it’s important.
Mythbusters Peter and Derek are Googling on the resurrected guy’s laptop for “transparent casing made from venom.” Jackson is starting to move, they learn from Scott’s phone call. Through their research, Peter realizes Jackson has been living in the kanima’s beta shape and is about to transform into something bigger, badder, and more winged. An animation of the new creature convinces them to meet Scott and Isaac halfway so they won’t have to deal with a screeching, gigantic gargoyle alone.
Perhaps Gerard is psychically connected, because he tells Allison, “Wake up, sweetheart. It’s starting.”
Isaac and Scott are dragging and dropping the kanima from the morgue. Suddenly, Chris is there, too. Hopefully to give them a ride.
Peter tells Derek that they need Lydia, but Derek just cares about killing Jackson.
“You’re alone,” Scott states the obvious to Chris. The hunter tells him they have a common enemy, but he’s not talking about Jackson.
At first, Stiles tries to ascertain how much Lydia knows about all the supernatural business in Beacon Hills. All she wants to do is talk about Jackson, though. “I can help him,” she says. “If you die, I will literally go out of my freaking mind,” Stiles tells her, saying he’ll be devastated if something happens to her. “Death doesn’t happen to you, it happens to those around you,” he practically shouts, and Lydia looks wild eyed. Then she runs out, and says she’ll help Jackson herself. Around the world, a million girls hope that some day a boy will say something like that to them.
In a heartwarming father/boyfriend-in-law talk, Chris tells Scott that Gerard has twisted way into Allison’s head and they’re both losing her. Then they team up to save her!
Stiles tells his dad Lydia left when the Sheriff comes into his son’s room to find out how the meeting went. No, you let her leave, Stiles! Ahem. Stiles explains that’s Lydia’s in love with somebody else. But Mr. S tries to bolster his son’s confidence by pointing out that Stiles was the hero of the lacrosse game. In a town full of werewolves, that doesn’t mean much to Stiles. “I’m not a hero,” he says.
Chris, Scott, and Isaac have arrived at creepy warehouse, which is apparently halfway between the hospital and the Hale house. Derek comes a-loping in, and Mr. Argent assured the alpha he’s here for Jackson, not him. Derek is not amused.
Peter peers around the corner, watching. While Scott still wants to save Jackson, Derek says they’re past that because Gerard is controlling the kanima now. The truth is too real for Chris, who says, “My father wouldn’t let a rabid dog live.” And with that, Gerard enters, agreeing the kanima is “better off dead.” When Derek attempts to claw Jackson, the lizard sticks the werewolf instead.
Gerard applauds Scott’s effort to save his friend, and Allison shoots an arrow into Isaac. Needless to say, Scott is appalled at his lady’s behavior. Everyone gets ready to fight, and the kanima loops its tail around Chris’s gun. Derek bares his fangs; Scott turns, and so does Isaac. The odds are three werewolves against one kanima. Oh, plus Allison, who stabs knives into Isaac. She’s about to deliver the killing blow...
Suddenly, the kanima grabs her. “Not yet, sweetheart,” says Gerard, and it’s unclear if he means Jackson or Allison. It turns out Scott has known for awhile — thanks to his cancer-sniffing powers — that Gerard is dying. Only turning into a werewolf will save him.
“When it comes to survival, I’d kill my own son,” Gerard tells Chris, revealing that he’s happy to have he kanima squeeze the life out of Allison if Scott doesn’t help. The werewolf transforms back into a human and manhandles Derek toward Gerard. The alpha tries to reason with Scott, but as Gramps points out, there’s “no competing with young love.”
Scott force-feeds Gerard’s arm to Derek. The old man raises his arm in triumph. By the power of Greyskull, something isn’t right. “What did you do?” growls Gerard. “I had a plan, too,” says Scott. He switched the hunter’s pills with some laced with mountain ash. What does that do to a not-quite werewolf?
Well, Gerard starts to bleed blood from orifices and a fountain of black vomit spews. He won’t be coming back from that, right?
“Why didn’t you tell me?” huffs Derek. “You might be an alpha, but you’re not mine,” sasses Scott. Talk about this later, bros. There’s still a kanima with a death grip on Allison.
Oh, and Gerard is hanging on. “Kill!” he shouts. “Kill them all.”
A car crashes into the warehouse, and Allison elbows the kanima. Jackson jumps on the car, and Stiles screams. Lydia jumps out, shouting “Jackson.” Then she gives him a key.
There’s a flashback to Lydia and Jackson making out and him giving her a key to his house so they could make sexy time whenever she wanted.
Back in the present, Jackson’s face starts to change. He holds the key in his still-creepy claw. Don’t kiss until he’s fully transformed, girl!
Derek struggles to get up. Peter is still there, waiting in the shadows. Jackson looks sadly at Derek, who claws him. Jackson chokes and starts to fall to the ground. Lydia grabs her boyfriend, who is still kind of scaly.
“Do you still?” Jackson asks. “I do; I do still love you,” Lydia replies. The key drops. Allison and Scott hold hands.
While Lydia is still grieving, everyone else gets over Jackson’s death pretty quickly. (Except maybe Stiles?) Oops, Jackson is still alive. He has claws and bright blue eyes. The crew kind of looks confused, but Lydia throws herself into his arm the minute Jackson is human again.
Allison is sorry for everything she did and wants to break up with Scott. He’s cool with it. “I can wait,” he says, because they’re fated. “There’s no such thing as fate,” Allison tells him. “There’s no such thing as werewolves,” he counters. They kiss for the last time ever. Or at least, this season.
Scott leaves, and Chris enters. Allison needs her daddy.
In the woods, Erica and Boyd find themselves surrounded by a menacing bunch of werewolves.
The vet follows a trail of dripping black blood. The guidance counselor is glad he isn’t retired.
It turns out Derek has been holding out on Isaac, but there’s no disguising the mysterious symbol carved into the door of the Hale house. The alphas are coming, Derek tells his beta. It’s the reason the alpha has been building up his back. “They’re not coming,” Peter corrects. “They’re already here.”
Despite all the shizz that went down, Scott and Stiles need to stay in lacrosse-ready shape. They head to the field to practice and talk about girls. Scott is certain Allison will come back to him, while Stiles says he’s on track to make Lydia fall in love with him in the next 15 years. (Maybe giving her a key to your house will knock a year or two off that projection, dude.)
Scott realizes he’s come full circle. Though he’s a werewolf now, he has no lacrosse, no popularity, and no girlfriend. He still has Stiles, though, and that’s enough for now.
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