When will Mystic Falls High learn? Nothing good comes of decade dances, especially a decade that embraced beehives, go-go boots, and optical illusion-patterned dresses. Nonetheless, if they must get their groove on, we’re glad everyone made it through (mostly) intact. Here are 13 things you need to know about “The Last Dance.” Did you save it for Klaus?
13. Katherine begs for death.
Still walking around in Alaric’s body, Klaus gets comfy at the history teacher’s house, although he’s not a fan of his wardrobe choices. The power of Klaus compels Katherine to let him in on all the Salvatore secrets. But since the brothers didn’t trust her enough to confide that Bonnie’s got her powers back, there are still some things the wicked little vamp can’t tell Klaus, no matter how much he wants her to. “Please just kill me Klaus,” Katherine asks. “And show you kindness,” Klalaric sneers. “I’ve searched for you for over 500 years. Your death is going to last at least half that long.” He then subjects her to the vampy compulsion version of the “death by 1000 cuts” torture. We actually feel sorry for Kat, especially since we barely see her for the rest of the episode…
12. Professor Klaus remembers the 60s.
We get the impression that Alaric is kind of a lousy teacher. No one even bats an eye when Klalaric can’t remember his lesson plan, namedrops the Beatles, and misremembers Watergate’s decade. But the scene serves to remind us that Klaus can get to Elena at any time. In fact…
11. The safehouse is kaput.
After extracting a promise from Damon to respect her wishes, Elena lets the elder Salvatore into her new house. Of course, a safehouse is only good if you stay there, and instead of locking herself in her room and shaking in terror that a big, bad vamp is after her, Elena flounces off to school. Later on, Klalaric waltzes in, sans invitation. Why? Because he’s in Alaric’s body, of course. The invite-only clubhouse is totally worthless.
10. Matt plays Caroline’s puppet.
Remember back in Season 1 when Damon was compelling Caroline into being his personal blood bank? Something about Caroline making out with a supposedly blank-minded Matt gives us the same skeevies. Although Deputy Donovan discusses the awkwardness of pretending not to remember with Sheriff Forbes, he does his due diligence. Matt swaps some serious spit with the blonde vamp, dresses up like JFK to her Jackie O., and takes her to the dance. Maroline ‘shippers’ hearts broke the world round.
9. Jeremy’s catch-22.
His sister. His girlfriend. His sister. His girlfriend. The emo-est boy in town has a seriously tough choice on his hands when Bonnie offers herself up to save Elena’s life. As he points on, Jeremy has not has the best luck in the love department. May we suggest a life of celibacy, Jer? Considering your list of “ex” girlfriends, the ladies of Mystic Falls might thank you for it.
8. TVD gets groovy.
What would the decade dance be without some sweet moves? Caroline and Matt. Caroline and Stefan. Stefan and Elena. Elena and Damon. Damon and Bonnie. Bonnie and Jeremy. (Did we miss anyone?) Practically everybody got a chance to take a spin around floor, including Klalaric, who shook his groove thing better than any ancient being has a right to.
7. Subterfuge, Klaus style.
Words can express how much we love Klalaric. Okay, he’s totally evil, but when he leads Elena and Bonnie down a dark hallway and starts listing all the things he loves about the ‘20s, “the style, the parties, the jazz,” it was absolutely thrilling. When Elena finally pegs him as Klaus, the way he trills “Surprise” gave us all kinds of chills.
6. Klaus provokes Bonnie to death.
Since his own witch will set off Bonnie’s supernatural-sensors, Klaus devises a plan to kill her by getting her to attack him until she basically drains her power — and her life — away. Bonnie does some major damage to Alaric’s body (is Alaric gonna feel that in the morning?), giving herself a serious nosebleed and leaving an awful mess for the janitors. But Damon got rid of her body, so at least they don’t have to clean that up.
5. Damon and Bonnie get plot-y.
This unlikely duo teams up to cross Klaus, and it totally works. Bonnie creates a spell to make it seem like she died in order to fool the O.V., who takes the bait. The wickedly powerful witch then wakes up in a candlelit underground make-out bunker where she and Jeremy are going to be hanging out with their cool wireless devices.
4. Whap! Elena smacks Damon.
This episode seriously belonged to Elena. From her tear-filled denial when she finds Bonnie dead to her slap-tastic treatment of Damon when he admits he knew harnessing all the witches’ power would be fatal, we were hurtling through emotions right along with her. Brava.
3. Salvatore spat.
The brothers S are not pleased with each other. Stefan’s angry that Damon was willing to let Bonnie suicide herself, and Damon pretty much tells his little bro that his concern for Elena’s feelings are going to get her killed. “I don’t mind being the bad guy,” says the elder Salvatore. “I’ll make all the life and death decisions while you’re busy worrying about collateral damage. I’ll even let her hate me for it. But at the end of the day, I’ll be the one to keep her alive.” That’s a serious case of sibling rivalry.
2. Once again, Damon shows his emotions.
When Elena insists she won’t let Bonnie die for her, Damon clarifies a point for her. “If it comes down to you and the witch again, I will gladly let Bonnie die. I will always choose you.” How romantic?
1. Apparently white ash doesn’t grow on trees.
It was a emotional night for Elena. We really don’t think she should be making any rash decisions right now. And yet, she heads down the Salvatore cellar to pull the magical dagger out of Elijah. Not good. The lesser of two evils is still really bloody evil.
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