Britney Spears is stronger than yesterday. Her loneliness ain't killing her no more –– despite the fact that she recently broke off her engagement to Jason Trawick. Oh, and the fact that she quit The X Factor, which is basically the worst thing to happen to the universe since Pepsi One.
America's most competitive singing competition just won't be the same without Britney's golf-claps, gum-chewing, and wise musings ("I feel uncomfortable with you even staring at me"), but she needs to be replaced by someone –– the question is who?
We've rounded up three possible judges who are clearly inferior to Britney, and your job is to choose the best of the best!
1. Taylor Swift
Taylor would bring in huge ratings for The X Factor, especially with a younger demographic of stan-girls. Sure, she might be a mere 23-years-old, but this blondie has Grammys up the wazoo, and she's had more chart-toppers than we can count (we can't count that high). Then again, Taylor probably doesn’t have the greatest associations with the show (ahem, Harry Styles) and might just end up dating Simon Cowell, which would dramatically increase our therapy bills.
2. Celine Dion
Sure, she isn't exactly "current," but no one can deny that Celine Dion is an idol. One might even say she's an American Idol (see what we did there? Cross references). This could be Celine's chance to return to the spotlight and revamp her career, although we'd require her to sing "My Heart Will Go On" during every single live show. That's twice a week every week, K? Thanks.
Ri-Ri is slightly controversial when it comes to her personal life, but girlfriend has star power. She consistently plays sold out shows, and almost every song that comes out of her mouth turns into a number one hit. Think of all the sage words of wisdom Rihanna could impart to X Factor hopefuls! Lesson one: shine bright like a diamond. Lesson two: get massive under-boob tattoo of winged lady.
Time to get your vote on, ya'll. Who should replace our muse?