They Kiss, We Tell! Every Hookup in Glee History — Part 1
We’re not here to judge, but the Glee characters sure do like to get busy. A lot. In fact, there have been so many wild and unexpected pairings on this show that it can be hard to keep them all straight. So before our minds are completely overrun by the inevitable between-the-sheets shenanigans of Season 3, we took a moment to break down every single hookup (and near-hookup) to ever happen in Glee-land — including its score on the hot-ness Richter scale.
Don’t worry, you’ll get your chance to vote for your favorite at the end!
When: Season 1, Episode 2: “Showmance,” and then on-and-off throughout the series Hotness Rating: 4 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: Uh, have you seen the show? Notes:Finn and Rachel are the cutest couple imaginable, so it’s too bad that they’re about as stable as a dining-room table on a sailboat.
Hookup: Finn and Quinn
When: On-and-off in Seasons 1 and 2 Hotness Rating: 3 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 30%. Notes: When it comes to the Finn-Rachel-Quinn love triangle getting rehashed, never say never. That said, romance with Finn (or anyone) seems to be the last thing on Quinn’s mind these days.
Hookup: Rachel and Puck
When: Season 1, Episode 8: “Mash-Up”; then again in Season 2, Episode 9: “Special Education.” Hotness Rating: 5 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 40%. Notes: This one doesn’t seem too likely, considering that they’ve tried and failed a few times now. Then again, saying that Puck will never again hook up with someone is about as ironclad as that promise you make to yourself every year to not overeat on Thanksgiving.
Hookup:Mercedes and Puck When: Season 1, Episode 18: “Laryngitis” Hotness Rating: 2 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 2% Notes: Holy random pairing, Batman! Let’s just say it’s not a good sign that the most memorable moment from this blink-and-you-missed-it ‘ship was that it incited Mercedes and Santana’s fiery duo on “The Boy is Mine.”
When: Season 1, Episode 15: “The Power of Madonna” Hotness rating: 4 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 8%, as Santana doesn’t seem too into boys these days. Notes: So what we learned from this one is, if you’re a cheerleader — or even wearing something remotely resembling a cheerleading outfit — Finn is probably going to hit on you. In fact, just to be safe, we would go so far as to advise against spelling anything out loud around the guy.
When: Season 2, Episode 4: Duets,” until Season 2, Episode 13: “Comeback” Hotness Rating: 3 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 0.001% Notes: We’re thinking that Sam is gone from the show for good — that is, unless Glee pulls a Lost and brings back every character who had ever been written off, including the ghost of Pavarotti, Dalton Academy’s winged mascot (RIP).
Hookup: Santana and Sam When: Season 2, Episode 13: “Comeback,” until Season 2, Episode 18: “Born This Way” Hotness Rating: 2 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 0.001% Notes: These two were never really compatible, although we wouldn’t mind Sam coming back for Santana someday, if only it meant an encore performance of “Trouty Mouth.” (Boy, do we miss that song.)
Hookup: Puck and Quinn
When: Season 1, Episode 4: “Preggers,” and then intermittently throughout Season 1 Hotness Rating: 4 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 85% Notes: Thank goodness she died her hair back to blonde. There can only be one bad ‘do per couple and Puck and his mohawk have been filling that role just fine.
Hookup: Kurt and Brittany When: Season 1, Episode 18: “Laryngitis” Hotness Rating: 1 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: Brittany’s not so good with numbers so, for her sake, we’ll keep it simple and say that the odds are “not so good.” Notes: There is no tradition more time-honored in Hollywood than that of the beard.
Hookup: Tina and Artie
When: Season 1, Episode 9: “Wheels,” until the end of Season 1 Hotness Rating: 2 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 35% Notes:Tina and Artie: A pairing whose cuteness was only bolstered by speculation that the two actors were totes dating in real life. But, alas, heartbreak: neither coupling is a reality now...
When: Season 2, Episode 4: “Duets,” until Season 2, Episode 19: “Rumours” Hotness Rating: 3 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 15% Notes: Though we didn’t see this one coming, they’re surprising sweetness and undeniable chemistry definitely made us forget the hurt caused by the end of the Tina/Artie era.
When: Their first onscreen hookup was during Season 2, Episode 4: “Duets” Hotness Rating: 5 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 99.9% Notes: There are two things in this world that we keep waiting for, even though they never seem to happen. And of course one of them is for Brittana to finally (please?) make it official. (The other thing we’re waiting for is a diet soda that is actually palatable.)
When: Starting with Season 2, Episode 16: “Original Song” Hotness Rating: 3 out of 5 (We’re still in chaste territory; if this were a “cuteness” rating, Kurt and Blaine would be through the roof.) Chance of Happening Again: 100% — cute new Warbler be damned! Notes: If this isn’t one of your top 3 favorite Glee couples, then it’s official: You’re made of stone, devoid of human emotion, and incapable of love. (Or else you just have different tastes than we do. It’s one of those two options.)
When: Starting with Season 2, Episode 9: “Special Education,” through the end of Season 2 Hotness Rating: 3 out of 5 (Confidence is sexy, and Puck and Zizes have oodles of it.) Chance of Happening Again: 8% Notes: These two were fun together (think: sex tapes, breaking into Figgins’ office, and a general disdain for the human race), and seeing Puck so head-over-heels was a nice change of pace. Unfortunately, they now appear to be as over as the Jonas Brothers.