Season 3 of True Blood was so packed full of delicious hookups that we’re still a little hot and bothered months later. From Bill and Lorena’s hate sex to Eric’s dirty Sookie dreams, True Blood delivered on the action. Revisit the season’s 10 hottest hookups!
Let’s get it on.
1. Sookie and Bill get lucky in the shower. So, we’re weeping our eyes out while Russell swims around in the bloody pool that used to be Talbot — and then all of a sudden Sookie and Bill are doing it. Alright, we’ll go with it. This scene is so romantic, yet so… bloody. (Damn you, Alan Ball, you genius, you!) Bill interrupts Sookie’s shower for a quick love bite and then they get wet n’ wild as blood runs down the drain. It’s just like Psycho but with more murderers and fewer mommy issues. (Season 3, Episode 9)
2. Sookie and Bill have crazy make-up sex. Sookie’s bedroom’s a wreck after her and Debbie’s bitch fight (get it? ‘Cause Debbie’s a werewolf). Luckily, Bill storms in to save the day and oh, man. You guys, he’s bumming HARD. Thank goodness Sookie has Otep all cued up on her ipod so they can listen to heavy metal during make-up sex. Which involves Bill screaming as he chokes Sookie with blood all over his mouth. Sigh, just like the good ol’ days! (Season 3, Episode 8)
3. Bill and Lorena do the twist. Bill is super-pissed at Lorena, so what does he do? Her! Bill sexes his vampire mother to the extreme and it’s beyond anything we’ve ever seen (but we’re just mere mortals). As Bill puts it, they do it “like only two vampires can.” Apparently normal vamp hanky panky involves twisting your girlfriend’s head around until she’s drooling blood. But did anyone else notice that their romp was pretty quick? That whole stamina thing must just be a perk of fangbanging. (Season 3, Episode 3)
4. Hoyt and Jessica snack on each other. Jessica saves Hoyt’s life by letting him drink her blood and it makes him feel like he has muscles “where he never had muscles” — if you know what we mean. Some of that vamp juice must have gone to Hoyt’s brain, because what he suggests next is totally loco. Yep, Hoyt asks Jessica to feed off of him. What’s better than a boyfriend who’s also your meal ticket! (Season 3, Episode 11)
5. Eric and Talbot have a dangerous liaison. This scene is totally sexy until Eric decides to take Talbot from behind in all the wrong ways. Eric “pretends” to be gay so he and Talbot can get hot n’ heavy man-on-man. He slowly peels off his shirt (REWIND) and kisses Tata all up and down his body. Then he say says “turn over.” Cue us passing out. Too bad Eric ruins the romantic mood when he stakes and kills Talbot. Oh no you didn’t! (Season 3, Episode 8)
6. Franklin and Tara get freaky. Oh, Franklin. You seemed so hot and British at first. When Tara and Franklin hook up, Tara’s eyes actually roll back in her head in ecstasy. She looks almost as possessed as that time that she actually was possessed. Franklin enjoys it too, judging from the screaming and grunting. (Season 3 , Episode 3)
7. Eric dreams about fairy sex. Eric thinks about Sookie while watching his poll-dancing cardiologist bust a move. So what’s his ultimate fairy fantasy? Twisting Sookie’s neck? No. Biting her? Not even! He just wants to chat about his childhood by the North Sea. And this is his idea of dirty talk: “I smell your memories.” Um, sexy? Whatever, we love him no mater what. When will Sookie bang that fang already?! (Season 3, Episode 4)
8. Jesus and Lafayette get their mack on in the car. We’re so happy Lala finally has a boyfriend, even though we were a little disturbed when Jesus sprouted devil horns... But it was still adorable when these two shared true love’s first kiss in Lafayette’s sweet wheels. Lala and Jesus agreed to not have sex, which is a welcome change from all the other characters on the show. NOT! Let’s see some action, boys! (Season 3, Episode 6)
9. Jason and Crystal do it in the woods. Jason invites Crystal to “take a walk with him.” Well, we we all know what that means. Five minutes later they’re making out by a glittery pond. It’s so magical that we expect Sookie’s fairy family to come out of the woods and start river dancing at any second. Jason and Crystal’s sex must be pretty stellar, because it lasts all the way into the next episode. Hopefully Jason won’t go all fundamentalist and shoot her with a paintball gun. (Season 3, Episode 5)
10. Sam and Tara hang and bang. Truthfully, we don’t really love Sam and Tara as a couple. He’s way too sweet for her, despite his recent binge drinking and human target practice. But they totally work as friends with benefits! Tara and Sam’s sex scene isn’t anything to save on your TiVo, but their flirty foreplay is H.O.T! (Season 3, Episode 11)