True Blood

If you thought True Blood’s Season 4 premiere was amazing, you have no idea how blown away you’re going to be next Sunday. We suggest you stock up on paper bags, just in case you need something to hyperventilate into while Sam prances around the forest as a horse.

Wetpaint got an exclusive look at next week’s all-new episode and we’ve rounded up some tempting teasers to get you in the mood for blood! Proceed at your own risk.

1. Expect to find out what happened in Bill and Sophie Ann’s fight to the death early on in the episode. Well says this: It’s bloody.

2. Look forward to a flashback. We don’t want to spoil too much, but Bill + black nail polish is more amazing than you could possibly imagine.

3. Get ready for some serious blood and violence. The premiere was lacking in sex and violence department, but you’re in for a tasty treat next week!

4. Find out about Bill’s mysterious history with Nan Flanagan. How did Bill win the Louisiana throne anyway, and what exactly are his ties to the AVL?

5. Emotionally prepare yourself to see Bill with another lady. Traumatizing, we know, but don’t forget: Bill is a sex maniac. We all remember that one time with Lorena. Shudder.

6. There’s a new woman in Sam’s life. And she might have the most ridiculous body in True Blood history. What is in the water these people drink?

7. Things will get very awkward for Sookie and Bill. Like, accidentally walking in on your parents having sex kinda awkward.

8. We haven’t seen the last of fairy land. The portal to fairy world might be closed, but Sookie’s fairy nightmares are far from over.

9. Get ready for an Eric + Lafayette + Tara reunion. All we can say is that it involves Marnie, who takes her witchy behavior to the next level of insanity.

10. Find out what Crystal really wants from Jason. Here’s a clue: It rhymes with rabies.