We’ve learned all kinds of life lessons from watching True Blood — for example, goat blood makes you powerful.
Soak up some valuable words of wisdom with 20 things we’ve learned from July 24's True Blood episode!
1. Beekeeper bonnets are back in fashion.
2. If you have sex next to your sleeping infant, your house will burn down.
3. Alligators love marshmallows.
4. If you wake up to a vampire leering at you, it’s OK: He just wants to spoon.
5. If you have too much sex, God will force you to bone a bunch of inbreds.
6. Most members of the Catholic church are vampires.
7. If you murder someone in Bon Temps, you’ll get away with it.
8. Goatees only look good on werewolves named Alice.
9. Contrary to popular belief, Alcide does own a shirt that’s not flannel.
10. Never accept a goat as a birthday present.
11. Pack two suitcases for a trip to Mexico.
12. Always curl your fro-hawk if you’re going on vacation.
13. Sex dreams get awkward when you start boning your best friend.
14. If you have a devil in your house, burn a sage stick.
15. When your baby turns evil, change into a camo velour tracksuit.
16. If you say “you people,” everyone will think you’re a racist.
17. It’s perfectly acceptable to drive around with an alligator in your car.
18. Remember to contact the post office if you’re going to change your identity.
19. Google and Fox News are run by vampires.
20. Don’t trust hot girls in glasses.