We’ve learned all kinds of life lessons from watching True Blood — for example, if you get invited to a vampire rights rally, RSVP hell no.
Soak up some valuable words of wisdom with 20 things we’ve learned from the August 28 True Blood episode, "Burning Down the House"!
1. Threesomes are almost never as fun as you think they’ll be.
2. An appropriate reaction to death is announcing “I’m so f***ing sad.”
3. Tree houses are a great place to store rifles.
4. If you walk in on someone talking to themselves, they’re probably about to vomit up a spirit. NBD.
5. If your boyfriend sprouts devil horns, be worried.
6. Pool tables are a great place for people to die on.
7. Target practice is a great way to get over a drug addiction.
8. Note to gun shops in Bon Temps: Stop selling weapons to mentally ill people, vampires, and Wiccans.
9. Nothing is more adorable than a vampire crawling out of her cubby.
10. Bitches just wanna have babies. (We’re talking about werewolves, natch)
11. Guns don’t kill people, pencils kill people.
12. If you love someone, shoot them with your lightening hands.
13. Latinos often morph into devils. What? Lafayette said.
14. If your life flashes before your eyes, you’ll be naked in most of your memories.
15. No one looks good in a burlap sack, not even Antonia.
16. Dead parakeets are the source of most of people’s problems.
17. Clothing from The Limited Too is coming back in style.
18. Always blow out your hair before a rescue mission.
19. Magic is stronger than technology.
15. If the dude you hooked up with asks you to erase his memory, it’s time to move on.