Credit: HBO Photo: STILL: Jason gives Jessica her box of stuff in episode 4.09

We’ve learned all kinds of life lessons from watching True Blood — for example, screaming “RUUUUN” at the top of your lungs is almost never helpful.

Soak up some valuable words of wisdom with 20 things we’ve learned from Sunday’s True Blood episode!

1. Never send your hot best friend to your ex-girlfriend’s house.

2. The Exorcist got it wrong.

3. If you live in the South, it’s likely that there are dead people up in your yard.

4. Having sex in a flat bed is better than having sex in a regular bed.

5. Taylor Swift makes the perfect sex soundtrack.

6. Vampires love Twilight too!

Credit: Photo via Facebook Photo: Jesus Tries to Exorcise Lafayette!

7. Always sneak a peak at the junk of the person you’re planning to posses, otherwise things might get awkward.

8. Leather jackets are sold out. Bon Temps locals bought them all.

9. Real men sleep naked.

10. Camping trips are a great place to have loud crazy sex in a tent next to a sleeping child.

11. When in doubt, blame the witches.

12. If you see a bunny in the forest, it’s probably actually a hot man.

Credit: HBO Photo: STILL: Sookie gets bitten by Eric and Bill in 4.09

13. It’s OK to have a threesome if love bites are involved.

14. Sprawling yourself across the dining table in lingerie is a great way to have a conversation.

15. Don’t trust people who have yellow eyeballs.

16. Hanging out in a room full of motorcycles is the only acceptable place for a stud to be.

17. When a ghost leaves your body, a normal response is “You got it, bitch.”

18. Don’t do V and drive.

19. Festivals of Tolerance aren’t all that tolerant.

20. Don’t trust door knobs. 


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