We’ve learned all kinds of life lessons from watching True Blood — for example, always carry an extra man-tank in your bag — just in case the one you’re wearing mysteriously disappears during a seance gone wrong.
Soak up some valuable words of wisdom with 20 things we’ve learned from Sunday’s True Blood episode!
1. When entertaining friends on your patio, it’s always nice to include a large candle of Jesus as a centerpiece.
2. Always cornrow your mohawk.
3. When trying to get yourself possessed, don’t slit your wrists.
4. If a dude says you smell good, he may want to eat you.
5. Punching a vampire in the nose will cause him to tear up.
6. It’s time to throw away your childhood doll collection.
7. Bon Temps a good place to buy those fishnet arm sleeves you were looking for.
8. It’s time to start the search for your long-lost Ghost Daddy.
9. Mexico makes really potent Viagra.
10. Nature’s bigger then us, Timbo.
11. Even when inches close to death, Jason Stackhouse can rock a girl's socks.
12. If you’re having girl problems I feel bad for you son, so go talk to Bill. He’s got 99 problems and a b*tch ain’t one.
13. If your crush starts rambling in another language, he’s just channeling his Viking ancestors.
14. Next time you cheat on your boyfriend, just glamour him!
15. Possessed dolls make a great baby present.
16. Gather your hoodies and cut off the sleeves. You won’t regret it.
17. Bon Temps has no gun regulations to speak of.
18. People will run out of your house if you try serving them Vienna sausages.
19. Next time you get injured, if werepanther saliva doesn’t work, try some mud.
20. Red heads are destined to have creepy babies in their lives.