Credit: John P. Johnson/HBO Photo: Sookie Stackhouse in Episode 4.02: "You Smell Like Dinner"

We’ve learned all kinds of life lessons from watching True Blood — for example, never chop off all your hair in a fit of post-break up rage. Actually, we learned that lesson from Britney Spears ....

Soak up some valuable words of wisdom with 20 things we learned from True Blood Season 4, Episode 2: "You Smell Like Dinner"!

1. Don’t invite your ex-girlfriend over while you’re in the middle of pounding your secretary.

2. If two hotties tie you to a bed and get naked, don’t assume you’re about to have a threesome.

3. Pinky rings are a officially a fashion do.

4. Inbred children’s saliva makes a great natural antiseptic.

5. If someone starts chanting to you in Latin and fireballs erupt in their eyes, run.

6. From what we can tell, most southern men get bikini waxes.

Credit: John P. Johnson/HBO Photo: Eric Behind The Bar in Episode 4.01: "She's Not There"

7. If you develop amnesia, you’ll forget to wear a shirt.

8. Sucking blood from someone’s neck in a bathroom stall totally doesn’t count as cheating.

9. Tank tops look better on men if they have a corset back.

10. If you see a fleet of fairies running toward you, it’s probably just your friend Tara.

11. Fro-hawks are better when they’re pulled back into a mini-pony tail.

12. If a random cupboard appears in your house, don’t get excited. It’s not your ticket to Narnia.

13. Babies are capable of totally effing up your eyes.

14. Bromancing is way more effective if both brothers are naked.

15. When hiring a swat team to murder your enemy, stand at least 10 feet back before ordering them to fire.

Credit: John P. Johnson/HBO Photo: Marnie in Episode 4.02, "You Smell Like Dinner"

16. When in danger, chant some gibberish and the situation should rectify itself.

17. If your girlfriend tells you she’s going out for Aspirin, she’s probably banging another dude.

18. That one member of Green Day that you always forget about is actually Bill Compton.

19. Fairies taste like freedom.

20. Never hire Bill’s interior decorator.

Credit: Wetpaint Photo: True Blood Vlog for Season 4, Episode 2: