True Blood is back, y’all, and we have so many questions. What’s up with Billith? Will Warlow succeed in fairy-napping poor Sookie (Anna Paquin)? And will Jason’s (Ryan Kwanten) vampire hatin’ ways get him into more trouble than usual in Season 6?
Hang on to your fangs, because we’re about to sink our teeth into the True Blood Season 6 premiere.
When we last left off, Bill (Stephen Moyer) ravenously consumed the sacred blood of Lillith and promptly turned into a puddle of blood, epically pissing off the Authority janitors. But faster than you can say “Book of Lillith,” Bill rose up from said puddle of muck in the blood-covered form of “Billith,” striking fear into Sookie and Eric (Alexander Skarsgard), who witnessed Bill’s supposed death. The unpleasantly surprised duo make a run for the elevator as Billith goes on a rampage and rips out the power lines in the underground bunker, killing anything that gets in his way.
Meanwhile, Sam (Sam Trammell) manages to make it to surface level with Emma and Luna in tow. But Luna suffers too many injuries in the process of escaping, and she tells Sam to take care of Emma before dying on the ground.
The Authority is literally going up in flames as Billith causes a huge explosion underground, just as Jason and Nora (Lucy Griffiths) manage to escort Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten), Tara (Rutina Wesley) and Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) out. Eric and Sookie roll up in a van to whisk everyone away to safety, and the motley crew look back in terror as Billith let’s out a raptor cry before jetting upward into the stratosphere.
Humans vs. Vampires
As they cruise along in the van, Eric turns on the radio and catches a speech by Louisiana governor Creighton Burrell (Arliss Howard), which essentially declare war on vampires. “I swore an oath to protect the people of this state,” he says. “People, not vampires”
The governor runs through a laundry list of new rules for fangers, including a mandatory post-sundown curfew and the closing all vampire-run businesses. He also encourages people to buy guns and wooden bullets. Game on, humans.
Tension in the van rises as Nora and Pam start to get snippy with each other, and an exasperated Eric pulls over by the docks for much needed breather. He takes off with Nora to chat privately, and Pam is pissed off about being left in the dark.
“If Lilith is walking the earth in any form we have to kill her,” Nora tells Eric.
“You want to kill Bill?” Jess asks in horror, running off at the very thought of her maker’s demise.
Down on the beach, Tara tries to comfort a frustrated Pam. She tells Tara to buzz off, but the baby vamp is not having it. “You just don’t want me to see you cry,” she says. “Alright, I’m crying, but it’s because I’m f**king pissed,” Pam gripes as Tara embraces her.
Back at the docks, Jess asks Sookie if she still loves Bill. “Bill was my first...everything,” Sookie says, making us a little melty inside. “Lovin’ him is just in my blood now. Whatever that thing is, it’s not Bill. I think we have to let him go.”
As Eric and Nora try to figure out their next move, Nora wonders aloud why Jason knows so much about Warlow.
“Who the f**k is Warlow?” Eric says.
Nora then glamours Jason to telling them everything he knows about Warlow, and he rehashes how the ancient vamp killed his parents and is hunting down Sookie to fulfill a blood contract. She reveals Warlow was Lillith’s progeny, making him first vampire ever to walk the earth. Jason gets upset at Nora’s “mind raping” and threatens to blow her brains out. Sookie tries to intervene, but her vampire sympathy enrages Jason even further and he storms off into the night.
Suddenly, Jess is overcome by an awful feeling and realizes she’s being summoned by Bill. Eric tries to stop her from leaving, but the more Jess resists the more she suffers, screaming in pain and vomiting blood. Sookie begs Eric to let her take Jess to Bill, and he reluctantly relents.
The Perks of Being a Pack Master
Somewhere in the woods, the werewolves are still celebrating the death of J.D., and Alcide (Joe Manganiello) is told he must ingest the flesh of the former pack master in order to take his position of power. He reluctantly takes a bite and everyone rejoices. A comely lady were named Danielle introduces herself to Alcide, making his girlfriend Rikki visibly jealous.
Back in Bon Temps, Arlene (Carrie Preston) scolds Andy (Chris Bauer) for leaving her and Terry to take care of his fairy spawn. Andy confesses he’s afraid of being a dad. “Do I look like somebody’s parent to you?” he asks. Arlene tells him he wouldn’t be a good parent if he wasn’t afraid, and our teeth ache a bit from the saccharine exchange.
Sam finally returns to Merlotte’s with Emma and runs into Lafayette having a late night drink at the bar. Still reeling from Luna’s death, Sam asks Lafayette to take Emma off his hands for a bit while he figures things out.
After running off, Jason is forced to hitchhike and gets picked up by a mysterious stranger in a beat-up station wagon. Nothing about this bodes well.
Sookie takes Jess back to Bill’s mansion, where they shudder at seeing his bloody footprints on the front steps. They find him out on the porch, fully clothed and looking exactly as he did before becoming mushed vampire. Nora and Eric launch a sneak attack, which Bill expertly thwarts. In a panic, Sookie stakes Bill, but he simply pulls the piece of wood out of his body and asks, “Now can we talk?”
He explains he’s not a monster, but he clearly sees things differently now that he’s taken Lilith’s blood into his body.
“Bill Compton did die, I felt it,” Sookie says. She tells Bill to leave Bon Temps for good, but Jessica says Bill should stay and kicks everyone out.
When Three Become One
The governor meets with a representative from Tru Blood and offers the company a government bailout in the form of a manufacturing facility to use free of charge. He insists he just wants to help, but we smell something fishy about his no-strings-attached deal.
Meanwhile, Alcide gets to enjoy the spoils of leadership with a sexy threesome involving Rikki and Danielle. In badass werewolf fashion, Rikki warns him, “I’m your number one bitch, don’t you forget it.”
Over at Fangtasia, a SWAT team busts in on Tara and Pam, declaring they’re going to shut down the business. Pam gets feisty with the po-po, who threaten to blast her into oblivion. Tara tries to defend her maker, but gets a bullet to the gut instead.
Eric walks Sookie home and encourages her to leave Bon Temps. He also says he never thought she’d stake Bill for him. When they reach the house, Eric decides to give Sookie’s home back to her, writing up a contract with his own blood. In a strange show of gratitude, Sookie rescinds Eric’s invitation and he’s left moping on the porch with Nora cracking wise at his misfortune.
“You’re in love with her,” Nora says, and Eric growls at her to drop the subject.
In other news, Andy’s weird fairy children are growing up at lightening speed. In the course of just a few days, they transform from infants into pre-school aged tykes, wreaking havoc in the Bellefleur home.
Back at his mansion, Bill brings a Tru Blood peace offering to Jess, who’s curled up in bed. When she tries to put the glass back on her nightstand and misses, Bill exercises his new “Billith” powers and stops it in mid-air with his mind.
“Did you know you could do that?” Jess asks in awe. “No, I did not,” he responds.
Bill admits he’s still unsure of the extent of his powers, but needs Jessica around to keep him from losing it completely. “You're the only one I can trust,” he says. “It’s for my own good.”
Jason continues to ride along in the station wagon, pouring out his life story to the gray-haired stranger. At the mention of Warlow, the mysterious driver suddenly perks up.
“You cannot keep Warlow away from Sookie,” he says to Jason. “Who the hell do you think I am, Jason?” Before Stackhouse can so much as cock his gun, the driver disappears into thin air, leaving Jason screaming in the passenger seat.
Meanwhile, a sleeping Bill gets searing visions of fiery chains and vampire teeth. He wakes up suddenly and hears a voice calling to him from his office downstairs. As Bill enters the room, three bloody Liliths appear to him and simultaneously enter his body. As far as we're concerned, unsolicited possession is never sexy, even when three naked ladies are involved!
What did you think of the True Blood Season 6 premiere? Let us know in the comments below!