In the space of just a few short minutes, we learned that fairies live in a alternate space-time continuum, eat glow-in-the-dark fruit, follow some crazy leader named Mab, and secretly look like goblins in need of dental work.
And then ... nothing.
Once Sookie returned from the fiery pits of Mordor (one assumes) to Bon Temps, the plot immediately shifted to double, double toil and trouble, and fairies were seldom seen nor heard.
Sure, Claudine popped in and tried to fairy-nap the Sookster, and Andy had light-up forest sex with that random fairy in the woods, but really? We need more fairy tail.
But this Sunday, we'll meet a new (hunky) fairy, played by Giles Matthey, which means there’s still time for fairies to redeem themselves. Check out three ways to amp up the fairy plot next season on True Blood!
1. Bon Tempsian Fairies
Apparently, fairy world is a total disaster. Everyone’s ugly, tutus are deflating, that one dude was cross-eyed, and there seem to be pits of lava everywhere. We suggest the whole crew move to Bon Temps and shack up with their fellow gap-toothers, the were-panthers of Hot Shot!
Yeah, yeah vampires might go crazy and drain their bodily fluids, but in the meantime the fairies can “harvest” a few humans (whatever that means), and make themselves stronger!
2. Andy’s Fairytale Romance
Not gonna lie: It was kind of disturbing to watch Andy roll around in a pile of dirt and leaves while fornicating with a mythical being. Mostly because we’re almost positive that Sookie and Eric had sex on that same patch of grass, which is just unhygienic.
Despite the fact that he’s probably carrying all of Eric’s STIs, no one deserves a relationship more than Andy, who spent the entirety of last season blazed on V and getting his heart broken. Plus, if Andy had a fairy girlfriend, we’d finally learn more about their kind!
3. Vaycay to Fairy Land
Want to visit Fairy Land? Apparently, all you have to do is linger in the Bon Temps graveyard for long enough and you’ll get beamed up in no time. Considering that all of our favorite characters spend copious amounts of time staring mournfully at gravestones (or having sex on them... sigh, Sookie), it’s only a matter of time before someone takes a trip (not to be confused with V-trip).
This time, we hope the plot doesn’t get dropped in favor of a bean bag chair and resurrected parrot. We’re dying to find out what Queen Mab is really doing, and what her daily makeup routine is, because wow. It must take hours to cover up those dark circles.