Credit: HBO

It's been almost a year since we had our last fix of True Blood, and we're desperate for bodily fluids, juicy groin veins, gap-teeth and –– yes –– even Bill.

 

Check out five things we've learned from the most recent crop of promo pics for season 5! They might even tide you over until our favorite show returns with a vengeance this summer on HBO.

 

 

 

Then again, if these don't do the trick, we reccomend downing a glass of O-Neg. Works like a charm.
 
1. Jessica Gets a Makeover!

Oh, Jessica. Remember back in the day when this girl looked like Avril Lavigne circa our worst nightmares?

Then she became a floral dress-wearing house-vamp, and now it she's bringing back her pop punk rebellious side!

Check out that green streak in Baby Vamp's hair –– we haven't been this terrified since Bill showed up in Bon Temps wearing a pinkie ring.

 

 

2. Lafayette Breaks Out His Mourning Clothes

Credit: HBO

You guys, check out Lafayette's faux hawk. It's so limp and sad, which can only mean one thing.

 

Our lord and saviour Jesus hasn't haunted him lately. You might also notice that Lala is wearing neither a doo-rag, a tank top, glitter eyeshadow, or mesh.

 

Wow, things really must be bad.

3. Small Vampire Child Is Way Cuter Than Kirsten Dunst

 

 

Credit: HBO

Move over Kiki, there's a new baby vampire in Louisiana, and we totally want to adopt him!

The Authority's Alexander Drew might be a bloodthirsty force to be reckoned with, but look at his cherubic cheeks and effortlessly coordinated outfit!

Plus, dude is clearly a Belieber.

4. Pam Misses Eric, Dresses Up Like S&M Version of Brigitte Bardot

Credit: HBO

During the season 4 finale, Eric "I'm Not A Playa I Just Crush A Lot" Northman rejected his vampire progeny, and it seems like she's taking it rough.

 

Last time we checked in on Pam, she busy breaking ground with innovative beekeeper fashions, but now she's back on the leather bandwagon.

 

But do we sense some gloominess in Pam's enormous weave? Someone misses her daddy.

5. Arlene and Patrick Are in Shock and Awe

 

 

Credit: HBO

Maybe they're just horrified by the tacky wallpaper and mysterious off-white food on their plates, but these two look mind blown.

Is Arlene finally learning the truth about Patrick and Terry's past? Because what happens in the bunks on a cold night ain't nothing to be ashamed of, guys.

 

 


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