It’s been months since True Blood’s epic Season 5 finale, and we’re finally ready to retire our wardrobe of black leather pants.
Yes, the time for mourning Jesus’ death is officially over — for us Truebies, that is. We’re pretty sure Lafayette Reynolds is far from over his fallen homeboy, which means we’re in for a season of glittery tears and sad doo-rags.
Lala needs time to grieve, but we count on him to bring the LOLs! After all, without him True Blood would be a gigantic bloodbath filled with “O”-faces and man-tanks.
Check out five ways Lafayette can cure his Jesus blues!
1. Become a Vampire
If all else fails, we suggest that Lafayette become a supernatural bloodsucker. That’s pretty much the life we turned to when True Blood ended, so we have first-hand proof that it’s a cure-all.
2. Create a Clothing Line in Jesus’ Name
There’s no better way to memorialize someone you love than by naming something after them. Lala should design a limited edition line of MC Hammer pants with Jesus’ face printed on the tag. We dare you not to wear them.
3. Throw Himself Back Into Work
And by work, we definitely don’t mean drug dealing and male prostitution. Instead, why doesn’t Lala devote himself to making the perfect Merlotte’s gumbo? Let’s hope customers like their food salty, because it’ll be seasoned with his tears.
4. Become a Witch (Again)
Jesus’ ghost already visited Lafayette once (otherwise known as “the resurrection”), so maybe Lafayette should dedicate himself to communicating with the dead! If Marnie taught us one thing, it’s that all you need is a bean-bag chair and some candelabras to make friends with ghosts.
5. Go on the Rebound
Jesus wants Lafayette to be happy, so maybe boyfriend should throw himself into the dating world and rebound with a few hotties. Then again, we saw what happened when Russell Edgington rebounded after Talbot’s death .... shivved prostitutes.