These last few episodes of True Blood have proven that Sookie and Eric have a mutual destiny: To write a bestselling sex guide. Chapter One: "Sex in Nature." Chapter Two: "Sex on the Floor." Chapter Three: "Sex in Every Position Possible." Chapter four: "Sex on Drugs."

Let’s skip chapters 1-4 and head straight to Sookie’s Step-By-Step Guide to Having Snow Sex With a Viking Vampire!

 

Step 1: Gaze lovingly into your Viking’s eyes and marvel at how hairless he is.

Credit: HBO Photo: STILL: Eric and Sookie getting in the shower episode 4.08

Step 2: Smell each other’s noses and kiss without actually kissing.

Credit: HBO Photo: STILL: Eric and Sookie Kiss in the Shower in episode 4.08

Step 3: Gently grope your Viking’s butt. Remember, this is the guy who spent the last few days curled up in the fetal position crying. Tender loving is important if you want to avoid bloody tears.

Credit: HBO Photo: STILL: Sookie caresses Eric's butt in episode 4.08

Step 4: Get into the shower and turn on your snow machine.

Credit: HBO Photo: STILL: Sookie and Eric see snow in the shower in episode 4.08

Step 5: Have completely different emotional reactions to a winter wonderland.

Credit: HBO Photo: STILL: Eric and Sookie behold their winter wonderland in episode 4

Step 6: Consider an impromptu game of tag.

Credit: HBO Photo: STILL: Eric and Sookie run to their snowy bed in episode 4.08

Step 7: Don’t question the fact that you’re having sex in the woods. Just be thankful there’s a bed this time.

Credit: HBO Photo: STILL: Eric and Sookie have sex in their snowy bed in episode 4.08

Step 8: Slaughter a polar bear and drape yourselves in its hide. Spread legs.

Credit: HBO Photo: STILL: Eric and Sookie's post-coital bliss in episode 4.08

Step 9: Carefully cover your Viking’s ''sword'' with a dead animal tail. Celebrate your snow sex with a romantic kiss.

Credit: HBO Photo: STILL: Eric and Sookie kiss wrapped in furs in episode 4.08

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