Credit: HBO Photo: Sheriff Bud Dearbourne

Age: Too old for the Hot List
Occupation: Ex-Sheriff of Bon Temps
Hobbies: Dancing
Quote: "We are looking at a human-animal collaboration."

It might be hard for you to pay attention to the random townies that wander around Bon Temps when Alcide is oiling up his chest, but it’s time to turn our attention to one of Bon Temps’ most kind-hearted residents. (Don’t tell Maryann... we hear she has a thing for Kind Heart Pie.)

Sigh, Sheriff Bud tried so hard to keep Bon Temps civilized. It’s not his fault that the town got overrun with orgies and perverts. Bud kind of had a handle on things when the local serial killers were human, but once the supernaturals took over, the poor guy just couldn’t take it.

During Season 1, Bud blamed Jason for the random dead girls that kept piling up in Bon Temps. He tried to redeem himself in Season 2, but how is a mere mortal with cowboy boots supposed to tackle a bull-sexing goddess?

As soon as Maryann appeared at the police station, Bud dropped trow and started humping the nearest filing cabinet. After coming back to his senses, he handed over his badge to Andy — and honestly, we don’t know if we’ll ever see him again. Bud’s probably in major need of therapy, but God knows if he leaves his house trailer he’ll just be killed by a wandering party of witches next season.

Good luck Bud-dy.