Vampires are all the rage. They’re so in vogue that we’re frankly surprised that Kate Middleton didn’t walk down the aisle with a pair of fangs popped in. Now that would have been a statement!
With all the various vampy franchises out there, sometimes the differences between vampire worlds can get confusing. That’s where Wetpaint Entertainment comes in. Let’s break down the vampire universes of True Blood, The Vampire Diaries, and, of course, The Twilight Saga!
Shared Characteristics Between All Three Worlds:
Vamps in True Blood, Vampire Diaries and Twilight might all be their own specific brand of fangy, but they do share some qualities:
1. They’re fast! Vampires can move hella fast, and they have a creepy habit of appearing right next to their human friends without any warning.
2. They’re stronger than humans. Check out the muscles on Eric. He ripped apart that slave in his sex chamber like woah.
3. They drink blood. Duh.
4. They heal quickly. And it’s usually really gross to watch.
5. They’re immortal (unless killed). So while you turn into an old hag, your vamp boyfriend will still be waxing his six pack.
6. They’re as cold as ice. A vampire is the perfect companion for a long, hot summer. It’s like having an ice cube as your best friend/fangbanging buddy!
True Blood’s vampires love nothing more than to munch on a sexy lady thigh and speak Viking (oh wait, that’s just Eric). Let’s take a peek into his bloody world:
1. They need your blood to survive. Or Japanese-made Tru Blood. If a vampire goes without snacking on your neck for too long, they become sleepy.
2. They nap in the ground during the day. If vamps don’t sleep, they get “the bleeds,” wherein they drip blood from their nose, ears, and eyes. Ew.
3. They don’t have internal organs — they’re just made out of red bloody goo! When vamps die, they explode all up in our faces.
4. The only way for vamps to die is if they meet the “true death.” Which is getting staked by wood, being blown up, frying in the sun, or having their heads chopped off. Oh, also they’re allergic to silver and are weakened by Hep D.
5. Eighty percent of vamps don’t survive their first year. Noobie vampires are stronger than men, but much weaker than old school vamps, so they’ve got to hone their skills!
6. They have enhanced skills. Vampires can fly and they’re very talented in the bedroom (or dungeon) –– like six-hours long talented.
7. They’re glamour-ous. If a human doesn’t offer herself up as a snack, a vamp can just glamour her into it!
8. They cry tears of blood. Vamps might pretend to be all strong, but we can’t think of one of them who hasn’t cried.
9. They have to be invited into a house before they can enter. But they can just glamour you into letting them in, so it’s no biggie.
THE VAMPIRE DIARIES
What makes a studly teenage heartthrob even sexier? When he’s hanging out with a crow all day and eating your best friend! Check out the vampire world of the Salvatore brothers:
1. They can control your mind! Do you have any fond memories of playing with your dog as a child? Yeah, that never happened. You never even had a dog, in fact your allergic. Damon just manipulated your memory, sucker!
2. They can only be killed with sunlight, a wooden stake or fire. Sounds way more epic than dying of the common cold.
3. They have really good hearing. Sigh, those games of telephone just aren’t fun anymore.
4. They wear lapis lazuli jewelry, which protects them from the sun. Damon and Stefan could carry around pieces of lapis in their pockets, but why do that when they can wear epic man bracelets?
5. They have to be invited into a house before they can enter. Don’t trust any of the little kids dressed up as vamps on Halloween this year. They’re going to eat you.
6. They can hide their cold blood by drinking caffeine.
7. They have heightened emotions. Oh, so that’s why Stefan has all those journals.
8. They can eat human food! But you know when they’re chowing down on a burger, they’re really just thinking about drinking your blood as a dessert course.
9. If they don’t feed on blood, they turn into mummies! It’s like the most epic horror movie ever.
Oh Twilight. A world full of sensitive vampires who love nothing more than to plan parties and play baseball. Here’s the deal with these vamps:
1. They’ll know it if you’re drunk. Vampires can detect alcohol in human blood and it tastes gross. One more reason not to get wasted.
2. They’re super hot. Vampires look way sexier than you ever will. They’re angelic and statuesque, which is meant to attract human prey.
3. They’re pale. Vamps give a whole new meaning to white-bred. Their skin is milky because they don’t have any blood in their bodies!
4. They don’t have to blink. But they do anyway — just so the humans aren’t like, “Um. Stop staring at me.”
5. They twinkle! Their skin sparkles like Swarovski crystals if it’s exposed to the light.
6. Their eye color changes after they’ve fed. If vamps are hungry their eyes are black, and if they’re full from a lovely diet of wild deer, they’re gold. A perfect match for their diamond skin!
7. The only way to kill a vamp is to rip him apart and burn the pieces. Wow, that makes the bloody goo on True Blood seem like it ain’t no thing.
8. They’re “gifted.” Some vamps have special powers, like reading minds, or making people writhe around on the floor in pain (we’re looking at you, Dakota Fanning).
Did we leave anything out? You’re the experts, so tell us on Facebook!