True Blood might be over, but at least these hilarious doozies from the epic season finale will help tide you over until next summer.
Even better? We’ve treated you to a an extra big serving of quotes. Forget Top 10 ––Top 15 is where it’s at and where it’s going to stay! As Lafayette would say, “Truer than rain, lovah.”
1. Pam vents: “I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name. Fuck Sookie!”
Surely she means, Fuck Sookeh.
2. Marnie channels the brilliance that is Lala: “As your friend Lafayette would say, 'What goes around comes around, bitches!'"
How dare this hippie sully Lala’s language of lovahs?
3. Eric: “His majesty showed great leadership in extremely perilous circumstances. You should be kissing his ring.”
Nan: “Why bother, when your tongue's so far up his ass.”
Sookie is so jealous right now.
4. Sookie envisions a happier future: “Some day I see myself growing old and sitting on the porch with my grand-babies on my lap, just watching the sunset.”
Doesn't she mean half-human half-vampire devil babies named Renesme?
5. Bill bonds with Eric: “I liked you better when you were brain damaged.”
See? Even Bill hearts emo Eric.
6. Arlene negotiates trick-or-treating with her kids: “Do you want a bag of empty Coors cans and food stamps, or do you want candy? It is your choice.”
We know what we’d pick.
7. Arlene clues Sookie in: “Zombies are the new vampires, didn’t you know that?”
We see the writing on the wall. Get ready for The CW’s new hit series, The Zombie Diaries.
8. Hoyt asks Jason a simple question: “How?”
Jason completely misinterprets: “Weird question to ask, man. But if you really wanna know, missionary, then doggie, then her on top.”
We’re just sad we missed the first two acts of that fangbang!
9. Jesus tries to talk Lafayarnie down: “You can’t trade magic like fucking Pokemon cards!”
Wow, Jesus just unintentionally revealed a lot about what he does in his free time.
10. Jesus acts like the perfect boyfriend: “Eat your breakfast. I know it’s not fried in pig fat or whatever secret deliciousness you use, but I worked hard on it.”
The secret deliciousness is all in the doo-rag.
11. Sam: “That’s quite a costume you got there, Lisa. What are you supposed to be?”
Lisa: “Jenelle from Teen Mom 2.”
We’re shocked. Lisa seems more like the Amber Portwood type to us.
12. Jessica: Maybe next time we could try oral?
Jason: *breaks Popsicle stick*
Sounds great, but we’re worried about fangs in Jason’s danger zone.
13. Jesus comforts Lafayette: “Dude, I’m dead. You’re a medium. I’ll always be with you.”
14. Eric ruins Sookie’s moment with Gran: “Excuse me? We’re feeling a little crispy up here.”
It’s not like these two aren’t used to being chained in silver.
15. Eric welcomes Nan: “Hi Nan. And gay storm troopers.”
This is exactly how we want everyone to greet us from now on.