Credit: HBO

We mostly tune into True Blood for shirtless Eric Northman, but Lafayette’s sassy one liners come in at a close second.

Season 5 was full of snarky bitchisms from our favorite do-rag-wearing cook, but we are all for playing favorites. To help tide you over until Season 6’s Summer 2013 premiere — we know, it’s so far away! — we’ve rounded up five of our favorite Lafayette quotes, but feel free to share your picks in the comments below!

5. Lafayette gets peeved at his ghosty friends in Season 5, Episode 9: "All y'all, I ain't Gmail for dead bitches! Send ya own goddamn messages, hell."

Is there an app for that?

4. Sookie probes Lafayette about his spirit sightings in Season 5, Episode 9: "You see anything?"
Lafayette: "Yep. One fine-ass motha f—cka with pretty new eyelashes."

Warlow doesn’t hold a candle to Lafayette’s mascara.

3. Lafayette dismisses Holly and Arlene in Season 5, Episode 8: "I’m in the 'f—k off while I smoke a blunt' bidness, and bidness is about to pick way the f—k up."

We’ll be using this excuse whenever someone asks us for a favor.

2. Lafayette realizes he has horns in Season 5, Episode 5: "No, no, no. I ain’t down with this hinky Brujo shit!"

And then he turned into a majestic unicorn!

1. Lafayette calls out Sookie in Season 5, Episode 4: “You the f—king angel of death.”

It took five seasons, but somebody had to say it.


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