Surprise, surprise, Sookie and Eric’s sex is at the top of the list AGAIN this week! That’s right, their fang bang was so epic that it spanned the length of two entire episodes. Is there even a reason to drop jaw at anything else after seeing these two pound it out all over Bon Temps?
Don’t worry, we’ve still managed to round up five OMG moments from True Blood episode 4.7, “Cold, Grey Light of Dawn” that are almost as eye-popping as Sookie and Eric’s forest fun!
1. Sookie and Eric have crazy sex!
Sometimes getting down in the woods just isn’t enough, right guys? Eric and Sookie decide to trade the dewy meadow for the kitchen floor, and take their fangbanging sex-fest back to her place. Name any position from the Kama Sutra and we guarantee these two rocked it. We think Eric just broke his six-hour record!
2. Jessica meets the sun!
There’s nothing like a 400-year-old witch’s spell to make you want to run outside and chillax at the beach. While most of Bon Temps’ vamps remained chained down with silver, Jessica broke free of her shackles to go for a frolic in the sun. If she has this hard a time fighting the urge to tan, there’s no way she’ll be able to hold back from jumping Jason’s bones. Feel the burn!
3. Bill gets a bullet to the stomach!
Father Luis sprung the ol’ surprise attack on the King of Louisiana and shot him in the stomach. Oh Padre, how could you? Lucky for Bill, Luis’ bullets were the non-wooden variety, so he was able to grab a stake and send Father Lois to his true death. Hey Bill, that stinging feeling in your gut should tell you that you’re screwed.
4. Pam gets a chemical peel!
Pam may be rotten to the core, but at least it doesn’t have to show. With the help of Bon Temps’ local vamp doctor, Pam removes her “surface rot” along with the rest of her skin. We know that waxing can be painful, but damn girl, this just takes it to a whole new level! Too bad Pam will have to give herself six injections every four hours for the rest of her life, but at least she can fit in with all the other Real Housewives.
5. Marnie can fly!
When was spontaneous levitation added to Antonia’s job description? Her spells must be pretty darn powerful if she just starts floating for no reason. And the best part? Marnie doesn’t even need a broomstick! Leave it to True Blood to challenge all the stereotypes. Bon Temps’ vampires might as well stay underground forever because they’ll never be able to escape this witches’ bird’s eye view!