1. Sookie has a threesome! Bon Temps’ fairy princess has spent the majority of the past 72 hours blazed on various vampire fluids, and at this point we have no idea whether the crazy sex that goes down in her panties is fantasy or reality. All we know is that both Eric and Bill were simultaneously soiling Sookie’s couch while doing spit takes off her neck. Hot!
2. Bill’s SWAT team get disemboweled! This season of True Blood has been heavy on the sloppy sex, but pretty light on the blood and gore. Sure, there have been a couple murders here and there, but what happened to the good old days of people sawing off their own fingers? Thank goodness Eric and his fellow possessed vamps disemboweled Bill’s security team, otherwise we don’t know how we’d get our blood fix!
2. Alcide drops trou! We should have known Alcide would be the type to sleep in his birthday suit, but we still did a double take when he came home and proceeded to get naked for no apparent reason. No wonder Debbie’s eyes turned yellow — it’s like no matter how many pairs of silk boxers she buys her man, he just refuses to restrict his boys. Studs … sigh.
4. Jessica and Jason sex it up! So … Jason and Jessica were hanging inside Bill’s palace, where there are beds, couches, and various tacky faux-fur rugs, and yet they decided to have sex in the back of a dirty truck which has previously housed things like a large metal chain, tubs of Mayonnaise, and dead bodies. What a romantic place to pop a gal’s cherry!
5. Lafayette gets exorcised! We were hoping that Lafayette’s exorcism would look more like this and less like this, but we’ll take what we can get.