Credit: HBO

Time for another roundup of sextacular True Blood quotes, y'all! Our favorite gumbo-eating friends were in their element this week, which we assume had something to do with Alcide wandering around shirtless during the entire episode. His six pack has the power to inspire!
 
Check out the 10 best quotes from Season 5, Episode 6 "Hopeless."

10. Eric glamors Alcide: "You will keep your hands off her, romantically speaking. She kind of disgusts you."

Might have something to do with the vomit incident from last week. 

9. Russell comes on to Sookie: "You are just what the doctor ordered. My twee, fairy vixen."

We reserve the word "twee" for people named Zooey Deschanel. 

8. Lafayette's mom worries about him: "You been smoking that bone lately?"

Would definitely explain why LaLa keeps imagining himself with horns and a snake tongue.

7. Bill explains Sookie and Alcide to The Authority: "We found them parked in a van outside of Shreveport."

Eric: "Humping each other like livestock."

Sigh, we wish.

6. Sookie chats about fairies: "They can, like, kidnap your life — let alone how butt ugly they are."

Fairy dental bills are currently through the roof.

5. Roman hates on Russell: "Why would we believe anything that he has to tell us? Oh and by the way, he’s bat sh** crazy."

Pshhhh, more like crazy/beautiful (not to be confused with Crazy/Beautiful starring Kirsten Dunst).

4. Eric real talks: "Lilith can f—ing blow me."

Let's hope this dream becomes a reality.

3. Russell eyerolls: "Peace is for pussies."

And hippies. Just saying.

2. Alcide checked in on Sookie: "Anything you need?"
Sookie: "A f—ing normal life."

Well, that and a pair of pants.

1. Russell defends himself: "I want to gorge on human blood. Not because some f—kng Bible tells me to, but because I like it. It's fun. It makes my dick hard."

If that's not a reason to eat people, we don't know what is.

 


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