Credit: HBO Photo: Pam and Tara at Fangtasia in Season 5, Episode 8: "Somebody That I Used to Know"

There were even more delicious doozies than usual this week on True Blood, so grab an O-neg and prepare for a bloody LOLercoaster ride! By the way, these quotes are even more hilarious if you imagine Bill and his long hair saying them.

10. Russell Bible thumps: "Praise Lilith, praise Jesus, praise Moses' c—k! I am born again!"

Best prayer ever.

 9. Lafayette forms a beautiful sentence: "I’m in the 'f—k off while I smoke a blunt' bidness, and bidness is about to pick way the f—k up."

No idea what this means, but it is golden.

 8. Andy insults an evil townie: "Shut up, butt plug."

We will be borrowing this in the future.

7. Sookie explains herself: "I’m dumping all my fairy light."

In other words, she's taking a fairy dump.

6. Jason talks Sookie down: "If you were normal, you never would have met Bill."

Sookie: "Yeah, big loss there."

A life without Bill's whispering "Sookeh" isn't a life worth living.

5. Russell bonds with The Authority: "God has the most beautiful tits I’ve ever seen!"

That's a quote from John 3:2, right? 

4. Lafayette waves away Arlene and Holly: "Ciao, bitches."

Au revoir, hookah.

3. Pam eye-rolls at Tara: "My mad face and my happy face are the same."

There is no emoticon to describe Pam.

2. Russell chats up Steve: "You ever been to Hong Kong?"

Steve: "Nu-uh, but I loved Kung Pow Chicken."

Annnnd, one more more reason to appreciate the Rev.


1. Lafayette keeps it real: "I'm about to slip my ass in this tub and get high as a muthaf—k. Enjoys ya day."

If by "get high" he means "binge eat pizza," then we approve!

 


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