Credit: HBO

War is coming to the fine city of Bon Temps, and while we're totally terrified of Queen Bill and his bible humping, all this talk of religion has done wonders for this week's quotes! Check out the top 10 nuggets of Truebie gold from this week's episode. Unlike Jason's scroll, you don't need light-up microwave fingers to decipher these bad boys — but you do need a bottle of O-Neg.

10. Russell complains about the iStake: "It chafes the nipples."

Sigh, hate that.
 
9. Pam grumbles to Tara: "We procreate because we want to, not because some dickhead dipped in afterbirth told us to."

Nothing like a good ol' fashioned afterbirth dipping.


8. Pam reminisces: "You and me, we live in the wind. Just like I did with Eric."

So that’s why Eric’s hair is so coiffed!


7. Jason points to a bookshelf: "Imagine if someone could read all these."

Guess we know why Ghost Daddy flunked first grade.


6. Steve gets the munchies: "What you in the mood for?"
Russell: "I was thinking Greek."

We have a feeling he's not talking about gyros.


5. Mrs. Fortenberry whines to Hoyt: "I had to practically stand over your hospital bed to keep that cheeto-headed tramp from giving you her blood."

Great, another Cheeto craving.


4. Bill educates his progeny: "This chamber dates back to Byzantina."

Because 17-year-old Jessica knows what that means.


3. Russell eye-rolls at Salome: "I wish I had just one drop of faerie blood to stuff in your pie hole."

Where's Warlow when we need him?


2. Random linguistics professor creeps everyone out: "Why does my ex-wife name her toes?"

Please let this be a rhetorical question.


1. Claude suffers from faerie ennui: "How do you think we got so good at dancing? It’s all we do now that we’re locked down at night."

When in doubt, burlesque your boredom away.


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