It’s officially summer, aka The Best Three Months of Your Life. Characters on True Blood continue to be totally freaky deaky, and now it’s time to figure out which Truebies are on top in the Bon Temps power play.
Check out the most powerful players from “Burning Down The House” — no. 1 is at the head of the pack!
Ranking: 1 (Last week: 9)
Gains: Bill is finally working his way back up to the top of our list! Sookie saved his life, which proves that she loves him. Then again, it also proves that he wasn’t manly enough to save his own life.
Losses: None — this vamp is on top!
ARLENE + TERRY
Ranking: 2 (Last week: 4)
Gains: Things are officially looking up! Terry successfully cured Andy of his V addiction, and Arlene no longer has an evil baby trying to kill her! Now if only she could afford an appointment at the local hair salon.
Losses: Nothing to complain about for these folks! Other than the fact that their house burned down …
Ranking: 3 (Last week: 5)
Gains: At long last, Eric has regained his memory. Now he can look back on the good old days of being a Viking and playing strip chess with Talbot.
Losses: It looks like Sookie might break up with Eric for Bill, which means he’ll have no one to cry on when he has a bad dream at night.
Ranking: 4 (Last week: 3)
Gains: Lafayette managed to get through an entire episode without being possessed! You go, girl.
Losses: He just finished corn-rowing his hair, and now it’s going to be ruined by Marnie’s wall of fire. Plus his boyfriend turns into a devil, which is never something to be excited about.
Ranking: 5 (Last week: 2)
Gains: Sookie’s lightening fingers are stronger than ever! Did you see the way she saved Bill’s life? It’s about time, after all he’s done for her (minus the time he tried to drink up her blood).
Losses: If Sookie doesn’t take off that hideous hoodie she’s been rocking, neither Bill nor Eric will want to date her and she’ll have to settle for Alcide. Oh, and she was just kidnapped by Marnie, but that’s not as bad as the sweater situation.
Ranking: 6 (Last week: 8)
Gains: Bill finally let Jessica borrow a leather pants and a jacket, and now she looks ready to kick Moongoddess ass!
Losses: Poor Jess. Her boyfriend broke up with her, her rebound was so disgusted by their sex that he tried to erase it from his memory, and the worse part? Virgin. For. Life.
Ranking: 7 (Last week: 6)
Gains: Jason was the only one of his friends not to get sucked into Marnie’s vortex of fire, so now he’s free to go home, drink a brewski, and try not to betray his best friend again.
Losses: Jessica’s pissed at him, which means they won’t be able to have sex to Miley Cyrus’ new album. Bummer.
Ranking: 8 (Last week: 10)
Gains: Tara and Holly tapped into their inner Wiccan powers and were able to break Marnie’s spell. Of course Marnie reversed it about two seconds later, but hey –– at least they caused a minor windstorm up in that room.
Losses: She continues to be trapped at the Moongoddess Emporium and there aren’t even any hotties to have hostage sex with.
Ranking: 9 (Last week: 1)
Gains: Marnie managed to kidnap Sookie and Lafayette, so now she has even more people to sing “Kumbaya” with around her hippie campfire!
Losses: Marnie seems to have developed somewhat of a split personality. Her heart is saying let’s go, but her body’s saying no. Plus, her terrorist plot to take down the Festival of Tolerance totally backfired, and now Eric has regained his memory.
Ranking: 10 (Last week: 7)
Gains: Er … he got through an episode without making inappropriate comments about Barbies?
Losses: Sam’s only blood relative up and died, and now he’s on a revenge mission to Kill BILL. No wait, sorry — our minds just go there. Kill Marcus!
Ranking: 11 (Last week: 11)
Gains: He had a beer for breakfast.
Losses: He had a beer for breakfast.