Turning Into a Vampire: The Different Rules on True Blood, Vampire Diaries, and Twilight

Raise your hand if you want nothing more than to star in an epic romance with someone named Eric Damon Cullen. Join the club, but first you need to morph into a vampire.

True Blood, Twilight, and The Vampire Diaries each have their own unique way of turning muggles into supernatural bloodsuckers, and we've rounded up the various vampire birthing rituals to prepare you for a life of blood-sucking.

Also, we don't recommend trying this (read: burying yourself in a grave) at home.

It's simple, really. To become a vampire in the backwoods hillbilly town of Bon Temps, you need to drain mass amounts of blood from your bod, drink from a vampire, and voila! Toothy Town.

Actually, almost Toothy Town. First, you have to spend the night in a dirty grave while spooning your maker. No big deal, just another opportunity for a semi-romantic parent-kid cuddle session.

By the way, when a new vampire is born on True Blood, they can be unpredictable (see: Tara circa right now). Buying some silver chains might be a good idea!

Becoming a vampire in Forks is a beautiful process filled with glitter, golden-eyes and sprayed-on six-packs.

Let's begin: First, you need to be bitten by a vamp so the venom has a chance to spread through your body. Apparently, this process is pretty painful — at least that's what we assume from the way Bella was writhing all over the ground when she was bitten by James. Sigh, amature hour.

After a few minutes of searing pain, the venom eventually makes its way to your heart, turns you into a vamp, and bonus! You morph into a way hotter version of your former self.

The process of turning into a fang girl on The Vampire Diaries is slightly unique in that new vamps have to gorge on human blood or they'll die.

Here's what goes down: If you have vampire blood in your system while dying (cough, Elena, cough), you wake up a few hours later and BAM: It's vamper time.

But don't forget, in order to complete the transition, one has to feed off human blood — something Caroline's father chose not to do, and guess what? Dude died.