Werepanthers: True Blood's Beast of the Week
Werepanthers are one of the newest additions to Bon Temps’ population of supernaturals, and they’re definitely the most mysterious. We have a sneaky suspicion that behind that bleached-blonde hair, missing teeth, and tubs of mayonnaise, werepanthers are sly like a fox. Or like a cat.
We can’t wait to learn more about these trashy freaks next season, but for now enjoy 7 need-to-know facts about werepanthers!
1. Like shapeshifters and werewolves, werepanthers can morph any time, day or night! Watch out Bon Temps’ residents: One moment you’re selling a few hogs to a greasy Hotshot, and the next moment they’re playing cat and mouse with you. Oh, and you’re the mouse.
2. They’re inbred. Do you ever check out your sister and go: “Dayum, that gurl’s hawt.” The cat-people at Hotshot are right there with you. They’re all about keeping it in the family — just like royalty! These cats love getting it on with their kitten cousins. Can’t stop, won’t stop.
3. They have gross teeth. Hotshot’s werepanther family are in serious need of some dental work. Luckily, when they morph into felines, their fangs look totally bad-ass and pointy.
4. As Lafayette would say: They’re a whole new level of white trash. Werepanthers aren’t the classiest folk in Bon Temps. Let’s just say, while everyone else is eating mayo, they’re eating Miracle Whip.
5. They have heightened senses. Werepanthers can smell their slutty daughters a mile away. Remember when Calvin busted into Merlotte’s and started sniffing around? He was just trying to locate his baby girl, Crystal!
6. They keep to themselves. The folks in Hotshot don’t like to associate with other people. Maybe they think the locals wouldn’t understand their supernatural powers, or maybe they just want to eat hoe cakes and “whipped topping” in peace while they watch Jerry Springer. Who knows what these inbreds think? (Or if they can think... )
7. They’re drug dealers. Ever noticed that panthers are totally the low-lifes of the cat world? Well, apparently, it’s because they’re dealing drugs to all their feline friends. The werepanthers at Hotshot have their very own Meth lab! Classy.
8. Jason is the new werepanther leader. Which is weird, because he’s not even a cat! YET.
Check out a few other beasts in Bon Temps:
Brujos
Werewolves
Maenads
Vampires