Credit: HBO

Remember when Bill was a fun-loving, linen pants-wearing hippie who had never been to the mall before? That was adorable. Sadly, time's are a-changin', and Bill's morphed into a sinister murderer who wants to eat us. Oh, and bonus? He thinks he's the adopted son of God.

Sigh, this is what happens when you spend your formative years having sex with your granddaughter.

Speaking of family ties, Bill is the worst maker ever. Gone are the days when he'd teach
Jessica the art of Wii fitness — now Bill just wants his baby vamp to become a bible-thumping Lilith fangirl who respects his every wish. In fact, Bill went so far as to slap Jess across the face for daring to disobey him! Uncool, Big Willy. It's one thing to decapitate a random chancellor here and there, but hitting Jessica was just too much.

Bill is clearly not himself, thanks to living in a super-religious vampire nest, and we're worried he'll kill Jessica in a drugged-up, cannibalistic fit of rage. Do you think Baby Vamp's life is in danger, or does Bill have some modicum of self-control?