Credit: John P. Johnson/HBO Photo: Bill Compton Looks Dapper in Episode 4.04

It’s a classic story: Vampire boy meets human girl, he tells her he’ll never love her, and they have sex. Swoon! We always thought Sookie would be the one to rebound (after all, like, EVERY hot guy in town wants a piece), but Bill’s sexed up two girls in just two days. Playa for life.

Bill’s new relationship with Portia Bellefleur might just be about sex, but is it just us, or do they make a cute couple? Bill opted not to bite Portia’s neck during the dirty, which could either mean that a) He thinks she’s too special to eat, or b) He thinks she tastes gross. We’re going to go ahead and assume it’s the first option.