Salome

Have you heard the news? Bill is "The Chosen One." We don't know what this means, but apparently it involves decapitating people, sucking on bloody fingers, and being generally evil. Also, Bill wants to kill all of our muggle friends, which is kind of a bummer.

But wait! Turns out Bill's bejeweled lover, Salome, is also "The Chosen One," which means Lilith is either super forgetful, or she's......

It finally happened, Truebies. Our imaginary boyfriend (correction: ex-boyfriend), Bill Compton, has turned into a cannibal. Frankly, we aren't surprised considering that everyone else in Bon Temps is eating each other, but we hardly expected Bill to snack on vampire blood.

During this week's episode of True Blood (Season 5, Episode 9, "Everybody Wants to Rule the World"), Bill and Salome did......

Praise Lilith, Adam, Eve, and our new best friend, The Smoke Monster. Russell Edgington is a free man!

 This blood-thirsty vampire blew our minds when he delivered the True Death to Roman (Nooooooo, Agent Stableeeeeeer!), but wait. Wasn't he locked up in silver with an iStake attached to his heart?

Either Russell has supernatural Houdini powers, or someone within The Authority was helping......

Time to take our weekly journey to Bon Temps, where booty shorts grow on trees and the stench of Bill's leather jacket fills the air. This week, one of our faves meets the True Death, Sookie remains hungover, and –– more importantly –– Alcide is shirtless. Praise Lilith!

The Morning After

Last time we checked on the Scooby Gang, Russell was lounging in an insane asylum...

Raise your hand if you've been up all night pondering Russell Edgington's escape? Join the club, Truebie friends. We still don't know who stuck Russell in an insane asylum and let him snack on victims of The Atkins Diet, but we have a few theories …

 Here's what we know: A female Authority member dug up Russell, which means there are only three suspects: Nora, Salome, and Rosalyn.......