In last week’s Teen Wolf, Stiles (Dylan O’Brien) decided that virginal sacrifices are happening. In Beacon Hills. In 2013. In Season 3, Episode 4, “Unleashed,” his thesis had to be tweaked a bit, to include an ancient sect. That’s s-e-c-t.
When the episode opens, Scott’s helping out Dr. Deaton with a fluffy dog and his teenaged owner, Kyle. When the high schooler makes an alpha joke, Deacon gets far too disturbed. After Kyle goes outside — and instantly loses his dog Bullet when the pup takes off like a shot — we learn from the vet that the canine patient had ingested some mistletoe. Bonus info? Werewolf Scott can kiss under the plant but should he spike his eggnog with a leaf, he’ll be poisoned like the dog.
Why must the vet’s office be located in this creepy alley? As Kyle tries to coax Bullet out from under a garbage bin, he gets bitten... only the dog is across the alley. This is just like that scary story about the murderer who hides under the bed and licks the owner’s hand while pretending to be the household pup. Shudder. “Closer,” the hand-biter whispers.
When Scott steps outside, Bullet comes running back, alone.
Ms. Blake walks down the hallway at Beacon Hills High. She didn’t quit after last week? Impressive. Derek follows her into her classroom to check on her and talk literature. While at first she’s skeptical, Ms. Blake eventually introduces herself as Jennifer. Derek doesn’t even have to call her Ms!
“Did he look virginal?” Stiles asks Scott of Kyle, the missing dog owner. The real reason Stiles is so concerned about these virgin murders? He is one. Danny volunteers to fix that for Stiles. “That was so sweet, are you kidding?” asks Stiles. Unfortunately, yes. Stiles’s v-card remains unswiped.
Cross country is popular with dudes who look good shirtless and mandatory for lacrosse players. That venn diagram overlaps a lot. As the Alpha twins — who are also on the team — stride past Isaac, he hears the wind rustle and everything slows down. “It’s them,” he tells Scott and takes off after the brothers at a dead run. Pace yourself, Isaac. Cross country is closer to a marathon than a sprint.
The twins find Isaac instead of the other way around. Ethan and Aidan even wear matching leggings! Scott and a scream from close by interrupt the werewolf-on-werewolf rumble that’s about to take place.
It’s Kyle. A poor runner has found him dead in the same fashion as the other victims. He’s tied to a tree with Bullet’s dog leash. That’s just cold.
Sheriff Stilinski arrives at the crime scene and sends the amateur sleuths away. That doesn’t stop them from theorizing. Isaac thinks the twins knew Kyle, while Stiles points out the dead teen was garrotted. Werewolves don't need such fancy weapons. In other news, Stiles is so ready for the verbal portion of the SATs. Both guys want Scott’s opinion on the murders; he tries to be diplomatic. Before stalking away, Isaac threatens to kill the Alpha twins.
A sort of heart-to-heart between Cora and Derek — it turns out she didn’t know he was alive, either — is crashed by a couple Alpha pack members. Kali removes a pipe from Derek’s ceiling, aka a thing werewolves sometimes use for pull-ups, and stabs Derek.
After a bit of a scuffle, Deucalion walks in to find out if the kids are done playing.
Deucalion-aider by night, French teacher/guidance counselor by day, Ms. Morrell scolds Allison for falling asleep in her class. She even says Allison's last name, “Argent,” en français. After the rest of the students clear out, both want to know why the other was in the bank last episode.
Mr. Harris, everyone’s least favorite chemistry teacher, is back. He prevents Scott from being Isaac’s bathroom buddy in a humiliating way. Of course, Isaac was actually slipping out of class to confront the Alpha twins. Aidan punches Ethan in the face. Isaac is as confused as we are. Then Aidan starts bashing his twin’s head into a locker. After a few seconds, Aidan slips away, making it look like Isaac beat Ethan to a pulp. Scott looks ticked.
Kali still has her pipe of doom lodged in Derek’s chest as he and Deucalion have a chat. The Alpha leader says he’s not a sociopath and doesn’t want to murder Derek. (Might want to have Kali lose the pipe, in that case.) Then Deucalion’s eyes glow red.
Scott is all for being patient with the Alpha twins, until he sees Aidan hitting on Lydia. Isaac is happy they’re getting to Scott, too.
Stiles gets a slap and a straight answer from Ashley, Kyle’s girlfriend, when he asks her if the murdered teen was a virgin: No, he wasn’t. The Sheriff isn’t happy with his son playing detective, pointing out that the FBI is also on the job.
Deuc, as Kali calls him, wants Derek to join the Alpha pack. All Derek has to do is kill one member of his own pack... and then murdering the rest will come easy.
It’s a small school after all. Boyd is back and knew Kyle from the junior ROTC program. When Stiles asks if they were friends, Boyd replies that he only had one friend and she’s dead, too. Ouch.
Forced by Mr. Harris to restock the janitor’s closet as part of their detention, Allison and Isaac almost have a moment when she says “sorry” for stabbing him with Chinese ring daggers. Then the door closes and the lights go out. Isaac has a very good reason to panic. His dad (and Dawson Leary’s dad) used to lock him a freezer. It turns out one of the twins barred the closet door with a vending machine. Just when we’re convinced that semi-transformed Isaac is going to take a chunk out of Allison, Scott saves the day.
Despite the scratch Isaac gave Allison, she tells Scott it wasn’t his fault. Scott knows and decides the twins need a lesson, teen wolf style.
After breaking the news to Lydia that Ethan and Aidan are werewolves, Stiles suggests to his gal pal that the crimes are coming threes. She tells him to let the police — aka, his dad — solve it.
Nothing gets engines revving like a lesson in how to ride a motorcycle. Allison gives Isaac the basics and he looks at her like she’s an (Hell’s) angel. Inside Ms. Banks’s class, Scott taunts Aidan by pulling some bike parts out of his bag. When Isaac rides the twin’s motorcycle into the school hallway, Aidan runs outside — only to have Isaac pull a switcheroo and get the Alpha suspended by the English teacher.
Realizing that Deaton knows more than anyone, Stiles appeals to the vet for help. Otherwise his dad is basically a bumbling sheriff who can’t even figure out there are werewolves in town.
Derek is still bleeding down Kali’s pole. Deucalion takes the oppportunity to tell him that killing a member of his pack will literally make him stronger — he’ll absorb the dead werewolf’s powers. Then the Alpha leader feels Derek’s face. “You’re right, Kali. He looks like his mother,” says Deucalion. It turns out, he knew Derek’s mom. In a biblical way? We’ll have to wait and see. Derek calls Deucalion a fanatic. “You’ve never seen anything like me,” rages the Alpha. “I am the Alpha of Alphas.” He gets shoutier and seems to conjure a storm with his yelling. “I am the Demon Wolf!” That’s the Alpha pack’s cue to exit.
Someone’s sketching a tree. It’s Lydia. Danny is impressed but points out she’s in music class. Awakening from her trance, Lydia heads to the piano as the rest of the students file out. Someone left their phone behind; they’d been recording themselves playing piano. She puts her face closer as the music changes to a kind of chanting. She looks really, really freaked.
In Teen Wolf history lesson, volume three, Deaton and Stiles discuss Celtic druids. According to the lacrosse-playing virgin, they were fans of human sacrifice and mistletoe. Stiles realizes Deaton knows all this, and the vet admits he’s tried to deny it to himself for a long time. But Deaton says the killer isn’t a druid; he’s a copycat. In Celtic, druid means wise oak; they were philosophers, not murderers.
So, not a copycat so much as a pastiche? Lydia calls Stiles to say the pianist was taken. When he and Deaton arrive, the vet says, “Each grouping of three has it’s own purpose.” Whether they’re virgins, healers, warriors, or something else, he doesn’t know. Stiles finds a picture of the piano player in uniform. The last two victims are soldiers. While Stiles assumes Boyd is danger, Lydia looks wild eyed. She has someone else in mind.
According to the plaque on his desk, Mr. Harris is also a cadet. Suddenly the scary whispers are in his classroom. Get out! Or don’t. Mr. Harris is kind of a jerk.
Isaac and Scott are reliving the motorcycle moment when Aidan got busted when they run into said twins. The Alphas morph into one monster machine. “We can take ‘em,” says Isaac. Scott decides to run instead. The Alphanstein monster bashes their heads together, but Deucalion arrives. The twins demorph. He slices their faces with the pointy end of his cane, and the Alpha twins follow him with their tails between their legs.
Mr. Harris is gone, but his briefcase isn’t. Deaton, Lydia, and Stiles search his desk. “This test is graded ‘R,’” Stiles points out. Another has an “H.” If a druid went down the wrong path, Deaton tells them, the Celtic word for it was “Darach.” It’s spelld out on the tests.
Sure, Derek’s had a rough day, but that’s no excuse to take it out on Isaac. The Alpha kicks his pack member out of his loft, into the rain.”Where am I supposed to go?” Isaac asks, before retreating like a sad were-pup.
Scott’s doing homework. Good for him. Isaac knocks on his door and asks for a favor. Aw, are they going to be roomies?!
“Please, don’t do this,” begs Mr. Harris, who’s tied to a tree. “I did everything! They're’ going to find you. You still need me.” The deadly druid cuts the teacher’s throat. Guess he's branched out from teenagers?
Next week, Derek’s going after the Alpha pack!