Ah, and you thought the road trip was over! in Teen Wolf Season 3, Episode 6, “Motel California,” the gang pulls an all-nighter at a sketchy motel, and the coach proves himself to be the world’s worst chaperone.
A truck pulls into a motel parking lot. Out limps a guy, who has blood streaming down his hand. He passes a newspaper stand: The date reads March 5, 1977. A dude with a ‘70s ‘stache and a heckuva werewolf bite shoots himself in the head inside room 217.
The cross country meet (which appears to be across the state of California from Beacon Hills) was postponed after the traffic jam. Thus, Coach puts everyone up in a seedy motel. “I’ve seen worse” says Scott, which makes Stiles scoff. Everyone’s allowed to pick their roommate, making Coach nervous. “Keep your dirty little hands to your dirty little selves,” he warns.
In their room, Scott and Stiles (Isaac got the shaft) discuss the non-werewolf’s list of darach suspects (and the fact that Scott hasn’t seen Star Wars): Cora, Deaton, and... Lydia? “She was totally controlled by Peter, and she had no idea,” points out Stiles.
Jennifer Blake is assisting Derek and abiding by his “no hospital” rule.
At the escalator of doom, Mr. Argent is reliving the werewolf battle, Prince Humperdink style. “There was a mighty duel,” he thinks, as he looks at scuff marks on the ground.
Scott decides to spruce himself up in the motel mirror. His eyes go red. No one’s ever been less excited to be an Alpha.
Stiles runs into Boyd at the vending machine. They both like the same snacks. When Boyd’s gets stuck, the werewolf punches through the glass and dazedly grabs his treat. Stiles grabs some freebies, too.
Scott creeps on Allison, who’s in the shower. He tells her, “I’ve seen you naked before” and managed to sound pretty stalker-y. He tries to see her naked again, then awakens from his throaty voiced trance when she protests. “Sorry. I don’t remember,” he mumbles.
Lydia goes to see the woman at the front desk. When she inquires about the 198 hanging behind the counter, the owner tells her, “More than any other motel in California, we have the most guest suicides.” They should stitch that on a throw pillow.
Isaac seems mesmerized by a static-y TV. No cable? That’s it. Something is clearly wrong with this motel.
When Allison calls her dad, he expresses concern that she’s in the deadliest motel in California. She pretty much says, “Duh, all my friends are werewolves. I can handle myself.” Still, Mr. Argent tells his baby girl she can talk to him about anything. Then he notices a dent from an arrow at the fight scene.
A quick scene shows us Ms. Blake is still helping Derek.
After she tells Allison about all the suicides in Motel Hell, Lydia hears a discussion between a man and a woman. Allison does not. This is Lydia we’re talking about, so the fact that she can hear voices coming from the vent is kind of standard. Regardless, Lydia goes to investigate the suicide next door and instead finds an empty room in repair.
Taking full advantage of motel living, Boyd gets a bunch of ice. Then he hears voices, too. Someone’s in the ice change, and it freaks Boyd out.
Back in their room, Isaac is looking for Boyd. The poor abused were-pup starts hearing his father’s voice.
When Lydia and Allison return to the front desk, the number of suicides has changed from 198 to 201. Usually unreliable, Lydia swears the number had three fewer before.
Scott gets a call from his mom; she sounds freaked. Then she apologizes and tells him to look outside. Deucalion has Mrs. McCall. He tells Scott he’s an Alpha because Derek is dead. “I’m coming for you,” says the leader of the Alpha, raking his fingernails across Mrs. McCall’s throat. Then Stiles brings Scott out of his hallucination and no one’s standing outside the motel’s window. Don’t do that to us, Teen Wolf!
Not everyone is having a bad night. Bunking together are Danny and Ethan. In the same bed. They’re making out and comparing scars. That’s when the Alpha starts hallucinating and runs to the mirror. He sees a face protruding from his abdomen. Not so unusual for a guy who morphs into one body with his brother.
Leafing through a Bible full of articles, Lydia, Stiles, and Allison realize that each details a person who killed him or her self in the room. How does this place stay open, again? “We need to get Scott, Isaac, and Boyd out of here,” says Allison, realizing the three werewolves are introuble. (Wait. Aren’t there four werewolves at the motel? Everyone always forgets about Eeyore. We mean, Ethan.) Before they can enact their plan, they need to deal with a hand saw-wielding Ethan. That’s what you get for forgetting about him! It’s not them the Alpha is after, however. He tries to tear up his beautiful, beautiful abs with the power tool. Lydia has the brilliant idea of unplugging it, but you can’t stop a werewolf’s claws so easily. After burning himself, Ethan quickly awakens from his trance.
After suggesting that Derek fake his death à la Jean Valjean in Les Mis, Ms. Blake — way to turn this into a teachable moment, Jen — tells the Alpha that he looks like a walking open wound.
Ethan doesn’t know what he was doing there. Ever gracious, he tells the gang they probably shouldn’t have saved his life. Lydia catches Stiles eye. “We’ve been through this before. Your birthday party. The night you poisoned everyone with wolfsbane,” he tells her. Just when she thought everyone had forgotten about that.
Boyd’s hearing voices via his alarm clock. Naturally, the former zamboni driver is listening to a little boy talk about his skating companion falling through the ice and dying. “Is it my fault? Is she dead?” Boyd says, repeating the kid’s words. Then he stomps on the alarm clock.
Back at the loft, Derek has no first aid. “How do we fix you up?” asks the English teacher. Time heals all wounds, says Derek, hoping to be as literary as his new girlfriend. Then he tells her she shouldn’t be there because everyone around him gets hurt. He’s so tortured. Luckily, Jen loves bad boys. Ignoring his roadkill-looking chest, Jennifer leans in for some making out. At least put a sheet over those gashes. Or not.
Boyd grabs a safe from the front desk, while Allison heads to Scott’s room, where the door is ajar.
From a storm drain, Lydia hears a baby crying. “I hear water running,” says the sorta-psyching Lydia.
Boyd decides it’s been a long day and he needs a soak in the tub.
Now the mother is telling the baby to sleep, which Lydia finds sinister.
Yikes. Boyd attempts to drown himself with a safe on his chest. “Someone’s drowning!” says the astute Lydia. Air bubbles rise out of the werewolf’s mouth.
Lydia and Stiles dash to save Boyd. They are too weak to move the safe. Once they realize they need fire to bring him out of it, Lydia says the only thing that will work are flares. Stiles heads to the well-equipped school bus. Left alone, Lydia turns to the bed where she hears sobbing. Isaac is under it, looking adorably frightened. Beacon Hills High’s finest use the flares on both Boyd and Isaac.
There’s one more flare on the bus... only Scott found it first. He’s standing in a puddle — of gasoline. Fire’s not going to help at this point.
“There’s no hope,” Scott says to his friends. Allison tells him there’s always hope. While Scott’s busy lamenting his mentor, Derek is getting naked with a lady. “People keep getting killed, “ says Scott. He has a point. He wonders if suicide is the best thing he could do for everyone else. Meanwhile, Derek starts to heal from Jennifer’s loving touch.
Scott asks Stiles if he remembers how he was before the werewolf bite. “We weren’t popular. We weren’t good at lacrosse. We weren’t important. We were no one. Maybe I should just be no one again,” he says. “No one at all.”
Stiles tells Scott he’s someone. “Scott, you’re my best friend. I need you. Scott, you're my brother.” Something happens. We have to rewind because there was something in our eye. Oh, Stiles steps into the puddle, too, and tells his bestie they’ll both flame out together. Then Stiles throws the flare... and it rolls right back toward the puddle. Though Stiles pushes his buddy out of the way in time, Lydia sees a truly horrific cloaked figure in the flames.
The next morning, the gang is asleep on the bus. The coach doesn’t bother to chew them out, just announces the meet’s canceled. After all that. Ethan sits next to Scott. In exchange for Scott saving his life (though Stiles points out he’s the one who’s actually responsible for the twin not committing suicide), Ethan tells Scott, “We’re pretty sure Derek’s still alive.” However, he won’t be for long. As payment for killing one of the Alpha pack, Derek either needs to join up or Kali will go after him. Stiles disapproves of their code of ethics.
When Lydia asks for the coach’s whistle, he’s remarkably tolerant. She blows it. It doesn’t work because it’s chock full of wolf’s bane. Stiles blames it on the darach.
Are you ready for a bombshell? The world’s growliest grandpa is still alive! Mr. Argent goes to see Gerard. “Twice in a month,” says the elder man. His nose is bleeding black, and he’s in a wheelchair. Chris Argent wants to know who bit their relative — the ‘70s ‘stache guy from the start of the episode. It turns out, it was Deucalion, and Gramps knows all about him!
Next week: Taken 3, the Dr. Deaton story.