Are you already suffering during this three-week The Vampire Diaries hiatus as much as we are? Get a little dose of TVD to tide you over with the newest rehash hosted by Arielle Kebbel (Lexi Branson). What does the former TVDer think of Season 5, Episode 13 (“Total Eclipse of the Heart”)? Spoiler: She’s as concerned about Denzo as we are.

This week’s rehash started with a montage of all the terrible things Denzo were up to in Episode 13, set to La Pie Voleuse by Rossini (which gave us serious Sherlock feels). Basically, they’re up to no good, and Katherine’s right there with them...

“First up, Elena — no, no, no, I mean Katherine, or Kat-Elena? Wait, what are we calling her now?” Arielle asks — a valid question. She seems to settle on “Kat,” outlining the character’s primary mission in this ep (and all eps): “Now a permanent resident in Elena, Kat made a beeline for Stefan.”

Arielle noted the less-than-enthused reaction from BFF Caroline. Does she think Caroline has a thing for Stefan? As the actress who played Stefan’s former bestie, she’s in a unique position to weigh in: “What if she’s just a really good friend, like Lexi?” Another valid question from our ex-TVDer. Do you think Steroline is going to turn romantic?

Whatever the future of Steroline, even Arielle couldn’t rehash without mentioning the drawing-shredding moment that will forever live in infamy: “The reaction from Team Klaroline was swift,” Arielle said — and she wasn’t kidding. We’re surprised the Internet survived.

But back to Denzo! Arielle is worried about their killing spree — but not so worried that she forgoes her radio program-style recount of what is happening this week on faux show Murder Buddies: “Tonight, on an all new Murder Buddies, the creepy professor is back and this time he’s got some sexy backup. You won’t want to miss it,” Arielle quips. If The Originals goes under (yeah, right), then at least TVD has a spin-off backup!

Arielle ends the recap with wishes for a Happy Valentine’s Day for all, and this warning: “Don’t go shredding anything important.” Sage advice from our favorite rehasher.

What do you think of this week’s rehash? Would you watch Murder Buddies? Sound off in the comments below!

Catch the next episode of The Vampire Diaries on Thursday, February 27 at 8 p.m. ET on the CW.

Kayti Burt is a contributing writer for Wetpaint Entertainment with a penchant for all things pop culture. Follow her on Twitter and Google+!