Credit: The CW ©2010 The CW Network Photo: Jules and Tyler in Season 2, Episode 13: "Daddy Issues"
8. The Brady Bunch arrives. (And they’re scary.)
Jules’ brooding werewolf friends sneak into Mystic Falls, led by an alpha hottie named Brady. And dude’s no joke. Seriously. Not only does Brady roll into town in a Breaking Bad-esque, meth-lab-looking trailer, he comes packing a low-budget, vampire-torturing armory that would make Alaric jealous. We’re talking Vervain-filled water guns, a wooden-bullet-shooting Glock, a dart gun, etc. Can you say masochist?

7. Damon. Naked. Shower.
Water. Bare chest. Ooops, sorry. We’re having a hottie flashback.

7. (For real this time.) Uncle John keeps slinking around.

And it’s really creepy. Though U.J. swears up and down that he’s there to protect Elena, nobody’s having it. Damon wants to kill him. Elena wants him gone. And Jeremy seconds that emotion when he refuses to have lunch with his dear old Uncle. But it’s Aunt Jenna who pulls our favorite U.J. Hater move when she tries to kick her brother-in-law out of the house. “We were not expecting you like ever,” she says. Sadly, U.J. has a knockout comeback: the Baby Daddy Card. And he plays it lickety split. “I’m Elena’s biological father,” he tells Jenna. “There, now you know.”

6. Stefan tries to make another peace pact.

You know how the Nice Salvatore does. Only this time he went a little rogue. After Caroline told him that Tyler was raging over the truth about Mason, Stefan broke into the Lockwood mansion and forcibly detained Ty in an effort to try and talk some sense into the young Were. That whole vampire-werewolf war thing is “some sort of leftover idea from another time,” he says. “It doesn’t have to be that way.” Oh, it doesn’t? Somebody needs to tell Brady that.

5. Caroline has a tortuously bad day.
We’re talking about a kidnapped, shoved-into-a-cage, and almost-killed kind of bad day. And it’s all thanks to the masochist new guy in town, Brady. After Stefan locks himself in a room with Tyler, Jules and Brady retaliate by snatching Ty’s little vampire friend in the parking lot. What’s that you say? But she’s a vampire and he’s a werewolf who isn’t backed by the power of a full moon? Yeah, um, Brady solved that problem by shooting Caroline in the head. Yes, she’s a vampire so she’ll heal. But still. OUCH.
Credit: The CW ©2010 The CW Network Photo: Damon, Tyler, and Stefan Gather in the Woods in Season 2, Episode 13: "Daddy Issues"
A double dose of naked Damon, kidnap and torture, werewolf versus vampire fights, love confessions… tonight’s episode of The Vampire Diaries had almost too much action. (Too much!) We had to watch it twice to get everything straight. Well, that plus the fact that we needed to, um, review Damon’s shower scene and his emotional bathtub scene for subtext and plot twists. Yeah, that’s what we were doing. Right… anyway… We know you watched. But if you didn’t, here are 10 more things you need to know about “Daddy Issues”:

10. Tyler mishandles the truth.
What a difference a dawn makes. When Caroline leaves for school the day after the kiss, Tyler’s waiting outside her house. She thinks he wants to take their ‘ship to the next level. “Matt’s kind of still in the picture. We can’t go there Tyler,” she starts. But Ty’s got other plans. “What happened to my Uncle Mason?” he demands. “He’s dead and I want you to tell me what happened!” When Blondie confesses that, yes, she did know about Uncle May, Tyler flashes wolf-eyes at her and slams her into her own car. “I trusted you,” he hisses. And this is where Car showed how much of a true friend she is. Girlfriend’s strong enough to smack the fury off Ty’s face. But she doesn’t. Instead she stands there and takes it, letting him express his pain.

9. We see Damon naked in the shower.
Hells yeah we do! Imagine it: the Sexy Salvatore, alone, water streaming down his bare chest, hand running through his hair. As he listens to the morning news about his latest kill and other matters, he’s pensive. Pouty. So kissable… Wait. What were we typing about here?
Credit: The CW ©2010 The CW Network Photo: Tyler and Stefan in Season 2, Episode 13: "Daddy Issues"
4. There’s a werewolf vs. vampire rumble in the jungle.
Jules forces Stefan to trade Tyler for Caroline. Only, when Stefan and Damon show up, they’re quickly surrounded by six armed-and-angry members of the Brady Bunch. “We can take them,” Damon says. Only, it turns out, they can’t. Sure, the vamps break a neck here, rip out a heart there, and catch and throw back a few stakes. But in the end, both bros end up on the ground. In fact, they’d both be toast if it weren’t for Daddy Warlock Martin, who saved the day with one heck of a headache spell. “Elijah made a promise to Elena. I’m here to see it’s upheld,” he says as he magically knocks all of the werewolves (except Tyler) out. Damn, that’s a neat trick.

3. Uncle John’s up to something.
First he tells Damon how to kill an Original Vampire. Then he sneaks off to the tomb where he tells a gaunt and hungry-eyed Katherine that he will get her out. Whose team is he on? What is he up to? Check here for clues.

2. Jeremy and Bonnie get a little closer.
Officially speaking, JerBo didn’t have a lot of together time on screen, but what time they did share implied much, shall we say, togetherness. Case in point: When a newly freed Caroline cancelled her date with Matt, lying to him that she was with Bonnie, all Matt had to do was look across the Mystic Grill to see Bon-bon and Jer sitting real close, laughing and chatting all flirty-intimate. Wha-wha-what?

1. Damon takes a bath.
Oh, to be some of those blessed suds… Okay. We’ll focus.

1. (For reals) Damon makes another love confession.
“I’m in love with a woman I can never have,” the elder Salvatore tells Andie Starr, a.k.a his latest distraction. It’s a sad, heartfelt confession. So much so that we almost forget that he’s naked, drinking wine in the bathtub with this woman. Almost. Apparently, this is Damon’s new thing: Take a girl, pour his heart out to her, then kill her. Tonight’s victim is the TV reporter who did a story on the last girl to hear one of his confessions. “I’m bad, Andie. I do things. I kill people,” he tells her. Now there are three words you never want to hear from your date.