It’s been six weeks. And, just when we thought we’d pull our hair out over the wait, our favorite bloodsuckers and the girl who hearts them returned from their ridiculously long hiatus. Thankfully The Vampire Diaries picked up right where it left off. Well, maybe not right after Tyler’s transformation and Rose and Damon’s run-in with the werewolf. Technically, things get hopping the morning after. But we’ll take it — especially when the return brings a bare-chested Stefan in the first five minutes. (Good move, TVD elves!) Here are 10 more things you need to know about “The Descent”:
10. She-wolf Jules sticks around.
And not only does she not leave Mystic Falls, she ups the body count. Big time. The show opens with Jules waking up in the campsite where her Were self has slaughtered a bunch of innocent people — two full tents’ worth. Basically, her morning after made Damon’s sorority-girl-sipping party days from Season 1 look like child’s play.
9. Vampires make the worst patients.
Not only is the bite Jules took out of Rose’s shoulder not healing, the 560-year-old vamp is not being brave about it. “I hate this. I’m a vampire. I haven’t had a cold in five centuries,” Rose whined while crawling into bed. “We don’t get sick. When we die it’s fast and sudden and it’s certainly not drawn out like this.” Oh, boo hoo.
8. Stefan goes M.I.A. for most of the ep.
You know how Stef is: The Nice Salvatore is determined to do all he can to keep his boo from being Klaus’s sacrificial lamb. So the first step in his new plan is to find Elena’s birth mom Isobel. Apparently Mommie Dearest knows the O.V. (original vampire) — along with half the power players in the neck nibbling world. Stefan leaves to find her. And comes back with Uncle John. Yeah, we don’t get that either. (And we’ll have to wait ‘til next week to see where they’re going with that.)
After volunteering to play nurse, Elena spent much of the day running from a rabid, demented Rose who kept confusing her with her traitorous doppleganger, Katherine. (And understandably so.) It was the kind of tragic event we couldn’t help but see coming. Whose bright idea was it to leave Elena — a.k.a. the frailest human member of the Scooby Gang — home alone with a sick vamp? The minute Rose’s pain-induced thirst kicked in Elena started looking like Kobe beef.
6. Caroline falls in love.
Too bad it’s into a love triangle. While Elena was running from Rose, Blondie was back at school trying to sort out her feelings for Matt and Tyler. Why did she put her life on the line for Tyler? Could she have a vamp-human relationship a la Stefalena? Before Caroline could figure it all out, Matt kissed her, then cornered her in the hallway and demanded to know how she felt. (“I feel like I love you,” she said.) Then Tyler was waiting for her at home, and he too stole a super smooch. “Everyone just needs to stop kissing me,” an exasperated Caroline said. Dang, we wish we had that problem.
5. Jules lets the dogs out.
Or maybe we should say she called them in. The only She Wolf in town asks Ty to meet her at Mystic Grill. When he does, she tells him that she knows he’s a werewolf and that Caroline’s a vampire. When she sees how inexperienced he is, Jules offers “to help.” Then she drops a truth bomb, telling him that Uncle Mason is dead and that “the little blonde vampire” and her vamp friends killed him. “But don’t worry. We’ll get them,” she promises. “There are others like us and they’re on their way.”
You don’t even need to know what Good Cause this fair was for. Just know what it means: More people die in the parking lot. This time ravenous Rose was the culprit. After Elena barricaded herself in a room, Rose left the Salvatore manse to hunt. She killed a maintenance man and a couple headed back to their car before Damon could stop her. And you know what more dead bodies in public means… (See item No. 3.)
3. Sheriff Forbes comes back into play.
The HWIC (Head Woman In Charge) covered up the maintenance man’s death, claiming he had a heart attack. Then she asked Damon to help find the heinous beast that did it. And we gotta admit we were a bit shocked. Call it hiatus-induced amnesia, but for a second there we’d totally forgotten that Caroline had erased her mom’s memory. Then she opened her mouth and the memories came flooding back.
2. Rose dies.
And yes, it was our turn to boo hoo. Crippled by the werewolf bite, she repeatedly begged Damon to “make it stop.” And, finally, after spending most of the day pretending he didn’t care, the sexy Salvatore gave in. When Rose curled up in his arms, whimpering, Damon somehow guided her dreams so that she went back to her favorite place on earth. Then, just when she no longer feared death and felt happy and free, he staked her, with tears running down his eyes. After she passed, he put her body in his trunk and showed Sheriff Forbes that he’d caught the vampire.
1. Damon takes a dark turn.
Rose’s death broke Damon. Literally. After months of trying to be good and embrace human feelings for Elena, that was the final straw. He ended the night drunk and lying in the middle of the road. When a Good Samaritan named Jessica stopped to help he toyed with her, then killed her. “There’s only so much hurt one man can take,” he said. And just like that, the Bad Boy Vamp came back.
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