If you’ve seen The Vampire DiariesPaul Wesley (Stefan Salvatore) incisors, you might understand the impetus behind this recent fan question: Is Paul Wesley a real vampire? “They’re a little big like fangs, brother,” said George Lopez said when Paul showed the talk show host his teeth on Lopez Tonight back in 2011.

We recently concluded that vampires are sort of real — there are bats that suck blood and people who enjoy drinking the stuff. (A recent episode of My Strange Addiction proves this.) But is Paul really “the reanimated body of a dead person” who comes “from the grave at night” to “suck the blood of persons asleep”? (Thank you, Merriam Webster.)

 

Well, if he were, he’d probably just spit on his victims. "I was at a bar in Atlanta and this one girl asked me to bite her," Paul said on Lopez Tonight. "I think I was a little drunk... I think she was expecting a really sexy bite like on the neck, and I just felt uncomfortable. So I sort of really reluctantly grabbed her arm, and I kind of like, just... drooled on it a little bit. I like bit it, and I think I hurt her, and she was oddly repulsed."

 

We’re not sure we’d be oddly repulsed if Paul were that close to our necks, but it sounds like he doesn’t get his nutrients from drinking people’s blood.

 

But Paul is pretty ageless. Though he’s 30 years old, he’s been playing a 17-year-old vampire for four seasons on The Vampire Diaries. Hm, maybe there’s something to this theory after all.

 

Paul, we demand to see your birth certificate, and if you want to try that biting thing again, we may feel compelled to volunteer.

 

Credit: YouTube Photo: Paul Wesley (a.k.a. Pauly Teeth) on Lopez Tonight, February 14, 2011