Say hello to a The Vampire Diaries flashback! Season 4, Episode 13, “Into the Wild” opens one year ago with Professor Shane (David Alpay) being chased through the woods by a man with a painted face. Shane runs into a cave, fingers some strange writing on the wall, then shines his flashlight down into an abyss, smiling. A beat later, we jump forward to the present day. “Congratulations, we made it,” Shane says. Behind him, the gang unloads two motorboats. Turns out they are on a remote island 200 miles off the coast of Nova Scotia — the burial place of the first immortal man, Silas.
As they prepare to head into the woods, Elena (Nina Dobrev) and Rebekah (Claire Holt) bicker. Bex says something smart, and Elena tries to stake her with a white oak stake. “Go ahead and try to kill me. But then you’d have to face your real problems,” Bekah says. “Like the fact that Stefan invited me here himself. I guess he likes me again.” Uh-oh.
Meanwhile, Bonnie (Kat Graham) is fondling Jeremy’s (Steven R. McQueen)’ bare chest while she takes pictures of the hunter’s tattoo. Bon-Bon relates the story of Qetsiyah and Silas — how she planned to be with him forever. When the witch found out he wasn’t eternally ride-and-die for her and had another lady in mind, she “freaked” and buried him alive.
Over the river and through the woods…
Everyone in the group has a job, Bex explains: “Jeremy has the spell on his body. Bonnie is the witch that unseals the cure. Shane is a human compass. Stefan and I have the tombstone that does God knows what. And Elena has no point.”
“What about me?” Damon (Ian Somerhalder) asks. Bex replies with a smirk. “You have a nice behind!” Amen to that.
While they hike into the night toward the cave, Shane catches the group up on how Silas’s location was discovered. Turns out the cave has a magic well inside. Trapped miners accidentally discovered that if you drop some of your blood in the water, you get to see the last loved one you lost. Shane heard about this and after his wife died he went to bleed into the water.
Shane, who clearly loves being in the spotlight, interrupts story time to keep them from stepping into a booby trap. Minutes later, the painted man from Shane’s flashback appears and shoots an arrow at Jeremy. Equally as mysterious, an unseen person throws a hatchet into Painted Dude’s back, taking him out. Damon says, “Well, that’s lovely. There’s a mystery man lurking in the woods with a hatchet.”
Later Shane suggests they camp for the night. When Damon counters that they should keep going, the Nutty Professor reminds him that he’s the last one who should be in a hurry because he has the most to lose when Elena becomes human again. Damon thinks about this for a minute. Elena has to reassure him that that the cure (and the return of her humanity) will not erase her love for him. They kiss.
Home is where the homicidal hybrid is
Back in Mystic Falls, Klaus (Joseph Morgan) is still trapped in the Gilbert’s living room. Tyler (Michael Trevino) shows up to gloat and torture the Original hybrid. Caroline (Candice Accola) drops by to talk him out of his gloat-tastic plans. But he intends to stay the night, watching his maker suffer. So blondie starts cleaning. The first thing she does is cover up Kol’s (Nathaniel Buzolic) crispy corpse. “Tyler’s mother is dead. So is my brother,” Klaus says. “We’re even.”
Caroline turns to lecture Klaus on the ridiculousness of that statement. Her first mistake is trying to rationalize with a madman. The second? Stepping too close to Bonnie’s magical wall. Klaus grabs a coat stand, skewers Caroline with it, then pulls her into the living room and bites her neck. “Now that was definitely worth the calories,” Klaus says after he drops her body on the floor.
When Caroline comes too, she promptly freaks out. Soon, she’ll be dead. Only Klaus’s blood can cure her. And he’s not willing to share. “I’ll fix it. I’ll fix it.” Tyler promises. He turns to Klaus. TheOV bites his wrist and says, “OK, then beg me to save her.” Tyler offers a whole-hearted plea. “I’ll be your slave again. I’ll do whatever you want,” he says. “Just help her.” Klaus looks at him coldly and says, “No.”
True Confessions continue
“What are you going to do when Elena becomes human and comes running back to you?” Bekah asks Stefan. He responds by asking why an Original vampire would want the cure. Bex says because being a bloodsucker is not all it’s cracked up to be. Once again, she admits, “I’d give anything to be human.” Stefan retaliates by sharing a truth of his own: He would not take the cure for Elena; he would take it because he’s miserable as a vampire, too.
Apparently camping in the Canadian outback makes people confess. When Bonnie goes to Shane to tell him that she cannot find the words for a spell on Jeremy’s hunter mark, the prof basically tells her that the words don’t exist. “I taught you Expression so that you can access the cure,” he says. Shane goes on to admit that his wife was a witch and that she’d died after she used Expression to try and bring their son back to life. This gives Bonnie the rage. “You taught me the same magic that killed your wife?!” she asks. Shane answers saying he will keep her from going overboard. By saving her, he will save himself because he knows Damon will kill him the second he’s no longer needed.
Why any of the Mystic Falls crew would sleep, knowing they only have three days before a postal Klaus goes free is beyond us. And yet they do. After they’re out, Painted Dude ghosts in. A shadow slips in, then, next thing we know, he’s standing over Jeremy.
Where in the world is Jeremy Gilbert?
When the gang wakes up, Jeremy is gone. They can’t find him anywhere. Shane slithers off and Damon catches him trying to use a supposedly service-less cell phone. He throws Shane into a chair and threatens to go all Guantanamo Bay on him if he doesn’t tell where Silas is buried. The professor spills the deets about his dead wife’s appearance by the magic well. Apparently she’s the one who told him not only where Silas was buried but also that he would need to gather a strange medley of artifacts and kill three dozen people to raise him. So, basically a hallucination told him where to find a buried god and that all the people he killed in doing so would live again. Feel free to joke all you want about that.
Meanwhile Bonnie tries a locator spell. She grabs one of Jeremy’s shirts, says a prayer, then throws it into the campfire. A trail of flames blazes out. She starts to follow it.
While Bonnie starts a forest fire, Elena, Stefan, and Bekah search for Jeremy, bickering the whole way. “All right, we get it. You two hate each other,” Stefan says. The arguing continues until Elena almost get staked by a punji trap that would make Rambo proud. Bekah saves her rival by stopping it. “Thank you,” Elena says. “This thing would have killed me.” Bekah gives her the stank eye. “I don’t care what happens to you, either way,” she says. “But if you’re going to die, it might as well be epic.” Behind them Stefan gets that look. You know the one.
“It’s getting worse.”
Back at Casa Forbes, Vampire Barbie is in pain. Sitting beside her, Tyler blames himself. “You didn’t do any of this,” Caroline says. She goes on to remind Ty that he’s a great leader, a problem solver, and other things found in Kanye songs. He responds by asking, “Do you trust me?” Of course she does!
Next, Ty takes Car back to the Gilbert’s house and lays her on the floor. “If you want her to die, then you can sit here and watch her die yourself,” he tells Klaus. Blondie puts on a show, moaning in pain and looking all pathetic. Klaus walks over to the magic barrier and looks down at her. “Nothing personal, Love,” he says. “But if I cure you, that means victory for him. Don’t worry. It won’t be long from now.”
Back in the Great White North, Damon kicks up his interrogation by half-hobbling Shane. The professor reminds him that they need him to live to control Bonnie. “I’m not that easily manipulated, Professor,” Damon says. “And there is one flaw in your logic. I don’t care about Bonnie Bennett.” Damon moves to snap Shane’s neck, but Elena keeps him from doing the deed. “Stop messing with my friends,” she warns the professor. As she walks out, Shane smiles a super sneaky smile.
Outside, Elena snaps at Damon for jeopardizing their link to the cure. Damon tells her that he doesn’t want the cure because he doesn’t want her to be “cured.” He claims that he does not want to watch her grow old and die. “Take the cure. Be human with me,” she pleads. “We can be together. Grow old together.” Damon stands with his back to her. “That’s not me Elena, that’s Stefan,” he says. “You know, I used to miss being human. But now I can’t think of anything more miserable on earth.” Tears well in Elena’s eyes. Clearly she forgot who Damon is.
“Haven’t we been through here before?” Stefan asks as he and Bekah walk back. Apparently, even though they’re equipped with supersonic hearing and sight, the two vampires are lost. Searching for home base, they’re almost killed by another trap. This time Stefan is the hero. Bekah thanks him. In turn he asks her if she was “serious about the cease-fire” between her and Elena. Bekah points out that everyone makes her out to be the bad girl in the Elena-Bex relationship when she and Elena have more murderous deeds in common than not. She reminds him that Elena helped kill two of her brothers and daggered her. The kicker is that they are all out in the woods trying to save Elena in the same way that Bekah fought to save her own family. Touché!
Tears, tears, and more tears
Somehow, Caroline manages to climb up onto the couch in the living room. “If you don’t feed me your blood, I’ll die,” she begs. Klaus give her mean-guy face and claims that he can be cruel because he’s 1000-year-old pure evil. Oh and he’s also bored. Caroline sees through his tough guy act. “No, it’s because you are hurt,” she says. “Which means that there is a part of you that is human.” “How could you possibly think that?” Klaus asks. “Because I’ve seen it,” she replies. “Because I’ve caught myself wishing that I could forget all the horrible things that you have done.”
Speaking all husky-voiced as she pulls her last breaths, Caroline goes on to tell the OV. that she knows he loves her and that “Anybody capable of love is capable of being saved.” It is at this point that — Hold the presses! — Klaus sits down and starts to cry. He tells Caroline that she’s hallucinating. She whimpers and passes out. Klaus waits a beat then bites his wrist and feeds her while rubbing her hair.
Back at Camp Silas, Elena realizes that Bonnie is gone now too. Shane — along with all the Silas-raising artifacts — has also disappeared. Back from her tryst in the woods, Bekah starts to search for the tombstone. She grabs Elena by the neck and accuses her of taking it. “All you people ever do is betray me. And here you go again,” she says. Stefan makes Bex put Elena down. She then accuses him of being in on it, of pretending to be nice to her to distract her while Shane crept off. “Do you think I would do that?” Stefan asks. “Every single moment of my last 146 years has been ruled by the pain of being the vampire. This cure ends that.” To further soothe her, Elena offers Bekah the white oak stake as a peace/trust act. “We’re either in this together or it’s over for all of us,” Elena says.
Next we cut to Shane running with the tombstone in his hands to meet Painted Face dude in the woods. Turns out this is not the same Painted Dude that attacked Jeremy earlier that day. This guy’s name is Massack, and he’s a witch. He has Jeremy gagged and handcuffed. Shane thanks him for fighting off the attacker from earlier. Massack says, “It wasn’t me.” Before they can figure out who it was, Bonnie arrives, led by the disappearing trail of fire that Massack’s magic — not Bonnie’s — created. “The gang’s all here,” Shane announces. “Silas awaits.”
So does Damon, who is slowly tracking Bonnie. Suddenly Damon gets hit by an arrow. He pulls it out, annoyed. Next, some brave soul attacks. The vampire easily wrestles the man. Damon is just about to break the guy’s neck when he spots a hunter’s mark on his attacker’s hand. “You’re one of the Five,” the vampire says, distracted. That moment is all it takes for the hunter to free himself, break Damon’s neck, and leave him laying in the woods.