Credit: The CW

The Vampire Diaries is good at toying with viewers and characters alike when it comes to the show’s vast array of romantic pairings.

To say that some of our favorite TVD relationships inspire passionate feelings is to put it, uh, mildly. To put it less mildly, Teams Edward and Jacob are benched as soon as Teams Damon (Ian Somerhalder) and Stefan (Paul Wesley) take the field. (Let us all now pause to imagine Damon and Stefan playing football... with Klaus (Joseph Morgan) refereeing.)

We could sit around and theorize about our favorite pairings and potential couplings on the show (in fact, why don’t we do that later, preferably over pizza and fine chianti for the plus 21-set) but it might be a little bit more fun to think about the never-gonna-happen-in-this-life-or-the-next type pairings.

 

Sheriff Forbes and Damon

Credit: Bob Mahoney/The CW

We haven’t seen a lot of the good sheriff lately. In fact, if memory serves, her last appearance was answering a noise complaint at Castle Salvatore where a newly dehumanized Elena (Nina Dobrev) nearly ate her as lunchmeat. It’s always a welcome treat to see the sheriff, and it can make a person hanker for the early TVD days, when an unwitting sheriff Forbes had Damon as a partner in crime. Sure, their friendship hit some rocks when she found out what he was, and that he had been using her AND that he had totally turned her daughter, but still! The idea of Damon with someone a little closer to his own age, with a law-abiding streak and no time for nonsense? Sign us up.

Verdict: Refreshingly ridiculous.

 

Elena and Klaus

Credit: Quantrell D. Colbert/The CW

If ever Elena were going to enter into a sexy, binding, covenant with any original, the idea of it being Klaus (Joseph Morgan) is enough to turn the stomach. Obviously, she’d go for Elijah (Daniel Gillies), because they’ve already got a mutual respect and thanks to his feelings for Katherine (Nina Dobrev) we know he’s got a type. But this isn’t “most likely” land, it’s the land of “no”, and in this land, Elena, freshly dehumanized, is doing everything she can to anger her nearest and dearest and also Rebekah(Claire Holt). What better way to do that than to bump uglies with Klaus? Not only is there officially no one this action wouldn’t piss off, but think of the emotional damage this gruesome twosome could inflict! Oh the humanity.

Verdict: Silly but sexy.

 

Caroline and The Ghost of Alaric

Credit: The CW

Ha ha ha ha. This is our favorite one of all. Picture it, night in Mystic Falls. Caroline (Candice Accola) is going to the frame store to pick up the series of photographs of herself she was having mounted. She waited too long though, and the store is closed. But what’s that? A glimmer in the glass door, a reflection? She turns around and there is Alaric (Matt Davis), drinking whiskey and being a ghost. “I’ve always loved you Caroline,” he says. “That’s weird because you are my teacher, too old for me, and dead,” she replies. Alaric laughs because he is charmed by Caroline’s sassy brashness. “Oh, Caroline, because I am dead and you are a vampire I don’t think any of that matters, so don’t be bigoted.” Then they embrace, which is challenging since he is but an astral projection. Think about it guys: this is worth it just to see Caroline and Alaric have a heart to heart powwow about the nature of their relationship with the rest of the gang. The look on Damon’s face MAKES IT ALL WORTH IT.

Verdict: Paging Julie Plec: We have a winner.