One thing we’ll never say about The Vampire Diaries: “You took the words right out of our mouths.” Elena and the gang utter things we’d never dream of saying — or at least hope we never have to. Without further ado, here are the top 21 notable quotables from “After School Special.”
21. Hey, it has happened before
April (to Bonnie): How did you know everyone was here? Did you do a GPS magic locator spell or something?
20. You say “corpse,” we say, “corps, see”?
Matt: Did you kill all these people?
Klaus: Not exactly. They’re all in transition. [To Jeremy] Killing them is your job.
19. That’s one heckuva status update
Rebekah (to Stefan): I’m back, dagger-free, and I’m holding Elena at the high school. Just thought you should know.
18. The perks of being an OV
April (after Bex breaks Elena’s neck): Was that necessary?
Rebekah: No. But it was fun.
17. ‘Cause he’s not a nature lover. Get it?
Klaus: I’m simply appreciating the sights and smells of nature. Neither of which presently includes rotting vampire flesh. So I’m a bit concerned.
16. Can you say, Pity Party?
Caroline: You just missed the mandatory all-school assembly.
Stefan: Maybe because I’m at a mandatory all-alone drinking party.
Caroline: Seriously, you decided to go on a Ripper bender now?
Stefan: My brother slept with Elena. It kind of puts a little bit of a damper on things.
15. The Mayor’s dead. Long live the Mayor.
Sheriff Liz Forbes (about Mayor Lockwood’s death): Welcome to the world of careful cover ops.
Interim Mayor Rudy Hopkins: Any leads? Let me guess: Sharp teeth and bad table manners.
14.But at least he cares
Jeremy: Don’t act like you care about my life. You care about the hunter’s mark and curing Elena so she’s not sired to your ass.
Damon: Both require you to be alive. Which is why I’ve updated our relationship status to “It’s complicated.”
13. In her humble opinion…
Elena (to Rebekah): I think you’re sad and bored and in desperate need of a hobby.
12: Some people call them “neighbors”
Klaus: Let’s play a little game, shall we? Jeremy needs more victims. And there’s a whole town of people down the road just waiting to turned into vampires for the slaughter.
11. True confession
Elena: I didn’t sleep with Damon because of the sire-bond. I slept with Damon because I’m in love with him.
10. Misery loves company
Rebekah (to Tyler): I heard my brother made a real mess of your life. Believe me, I can relate. You have my condolences.
9. You’ll win, but then you lose
Damon (to Klaus): If you’re here for payback, go for it — ‘cause you’ll be stuck babysitting the Little Hunter That Could.
8. That’s got to be hard to hear
Elena (about Stefan): When he looks at me all he sees is a broken toy.
7. Talk about a woman scorned
Rebekah: Did that hurt — having someone you love drive a dagger through your heart?
Rebekah: Welcome to the last 900 years of my life.
6. You guessed right!
Klaus (to Damon): My guess is you did it to impress Elena. Somehow you’ll find a way to spare innocent lives and walk Jeremy down the moral high road.
5. Tell us about it.
Rebekah (to Tyler): Ah, good. You’re here. It was just getting depressing.
4. And here we thought her dad was MIA.
Bonnie (to her dad): So, far cry from being a traveling pharmaceutical rep.
Rudy Hopkins: I noticed a few of your friends were missing from the assembly. So much for mandatory, I guess.
3. Yeah, but has he met the rule breakers?
Bonnie: Dad, stop. You can’t come here and start making rules.
Rudy Hopkins: I think this town could use a few more rules.
2. Oops! His bad!
Professor Shane: Turns out I miscalculated. Kol’s going to be a problem.
Bonnie: I almost killed someone and that’s what you miscalculated?
1. Feelings… nothing more than feelings
Elena: It’s the most real thing that I ever felt in my entire life. I love you, Damon. I love you.