Damon Salvatore (Ian Somerhalder) certainly has a way with words. The witty bloodsucker manages to drop bon mots no matter the situation. Check out the charming and churlish things that came out of his mouth in The Vampire Diaries Season 4, Episode 17 “Because The Night.”

 

1. Thank god for caller ID

Stefan: You took her to New York?

Damon: And that tone is why I didn’t pick up the phone the first 20 times.


 

2. Somebody’s all business

Elena: I’ve never done it on a roof before.

Damon: You aren’t missing much.


 

3. Takes one to know one

Damon, catching Elena in the act of stealing the list from him: The sex, the temptation, the booze? Did you really think that was going to work? Are you kidding me? I invented that trick.


 

4. Now this takes us back

Damon, to Lexi: My feelings for you? A big fat lie. And the best part is, you believed it.


 

5. Shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior.

Elena: You and Lexi?! Here?! On the bar?!

Damon: The bar, the stage, the roof — it was a long night.


 

6. Nothing new under the sun.

Damon, explaining his trip to Will’s apartment to Elena and Rebekah: Sorry, had to come up here to get away from the Runaways 2.0.


 

7. And you think you’ve got problems.

Stefan: How it’s going there?

Damon: Well I don’t have a massacre in the making here, but it turns out my buddy Will was a hoarder.


 

8. And here you thought he didn’t notice.

Damon, to Elena at Billy’s: Easy, judgy. Not everyone got a hot new haircut today.


 

9. Lies, lies, hilarious, lies.

Damon, to an angry Rebekah: How does it feel to be wrong all the time? I brought Elena here to feed. I mean, Mystic Falls isn’t exactly vamp Xanadu right now.


 

10. We’ve got it on record.

Damon, to Stefan, after he reminds him of Katherine’s birth date: And that, brother, is why you are the better boyfriend.