10. A good reason not to pick a fight with a vampire
Damon (in response to Jeremy’s threat): You want to tell people what I really am? Go ahead and try. I will shove this ring so far up your ass you’ll really have something to choke on.
9. Sounds like a werewolf to us
Tyler: It’s like I go blind with rage.
Mason: Is there a pattern? You know, once a month? Only at night?
Tyler: All I know is I lose myself. At that time I become something else and I hate it.
8. Tyler as a Ninja Turtle? He would soooo be Raphael
Damon (referring to Mason and Tyler Lockwood): What is up with that family? They’re not vampires. What the hell are they?
Stefan: Ooh. Maybe they’re Ninja Turtles.
Damon: You’re not funny.
Stefan: What about zombies? Or werewolves?
Damon: You’ve no comedic timing at all.
7. The possibilities are endless!
Caroline (on compelling): I don’t know how that works but it’s brilliant.
6. It’s not a party until somebody gets killed
Damon (to Stefan): Wait. Wasn’t there a school carnival the night you staked Vicki? Talk about a town where history repeats itself.
5. An eye for an eye
Damon: You came here to kill me?
Jeremy: It’s only fair. You killed me first.
4. Truth that’s stranger than fiction
Elena: Nothing about my life is normal. My best friend is a witch. My boyfriend is a vampire. And I have a doppelganger who’s hell bent on destroying all of us.
3. That’s the pot calling the kettle whack
Caroline: God bless Elena but she does not understand the word fabulous.
2. It’s a mad, mad world
Jeremy: I was killed by a vampire and brought back by a magic ring. How do you move forward from that?
1. What’s for dessert?
Damon (pouring himself a glass o’ blood): Would you care for one?
Stefan: No... thank you. I just ate.
Damon: Aren’t you worried that one day all of the forest animals are going to band together and fight back? I mean, surely they talk.
Stefan: I’m just happy that’s a blood bag and not a sorority girl supplying your dinner.
Damon: I like this: You, walking on eggshells around me, behaving like I’m going to explode. It’s very suspenseful.