Credit: Bob Mahoney/The CW ©2011 The CW Network Photo: Klaus Angers Elena in The Vampire Diaries Season 3, Episode 10: "The New Deal"

One thing we’ll never say about The Vampire Diaries: “You took the words right out of our mouths.” Elena (Nina Dobrev) and the gang utter things we’d never dream of saying — or at least hope we never have to. Without further ado, here are 12 notable quotables from this week’s ep, “The New Deal.”

12. Except Jeremy would have died
Klaus: Tony ran down Alaric instead of Jeremy. But apples-orange, message sounds the same.

11. Butt out, Elena
Klaus (to Damon): Your brother stole from me. I need him found so I can take back what’s mine.
Elena: That sounds like a Klaus and Stefan problem.
Klaus: Well, this is me broadening the scope, sweetheart.

10. Bonnie should stick to casting spells
Elena: Stefan, I need your help. Bonnie said that you would be here.
Stefan: Well, Bonnie sucks at keeping secrets.

9. It’s a medical miracle!
Dr. Meredith Fell: Mr. Saltzman, what is your secret — guardian angel, or did you sell your soul to the devil?
Alaric: A little of both.

8. Oh, what a night!
Alaric: So I guess I have Damon’s blood to thank for the fact that I’m still walking?
Jeremy: He said to say that you owe him a drink.
Alaric: That’s funny, I’d rather have head trauma. Hey, Jer, are you OK?
Jeremy: Why wouldn’t I be? I shot a hybrid in the back then I chopped his head off with a meat cleaver. Typical Sunday, yeah?

7. It’s already a short list
Damon: So all I have to do is find four coffins and — voila! — no one else on your family’s Christmas list has to die.

6. What, he’s not used to that by now?
Alaric: How’s Jeremy?
Elena: Hating me. Hating Life. Hating the fact that we can’t even have a family dinner without somebody dying before dessert.

5. Who you callin’ crazy?
Klaus: My sister seems to be missing. I need to sort that out.
Damon: Cute? Bombshell? Psycho? Shouldn’t be too hard to find.

4. The family that dines together…
Alaric: I thought we’d all stay in and have a meal together like a typical atypical family.

3. Some puzzles aren’t meant to be solved
Damon: You know what I can’t figure out? Why save me? Brotherly love. Guilty conscious? Is the switch on? Is the switch off?
Stefan: Do you have somewhere you need to be Damon?
Damon: Ah, deflection. That’s not going to work on me. I invented that.

2. But on Damon, it works
Elena (to Damon): Day Drunk is not the most attractive look.

1. Can’t argue with that
Damon: Take it from me: Strange is bad, dead is worse.

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