Credit: Quantrell D. Colbert/The CW Photo: Jeremy Comforts Matt in Season 3, Episode 2: “The Hybrid”

One thing we’ll never say about The Vampire Diaries: “You took the words right out of our mouths.” Elena and the gang utter things we’d never dream of saying — or at least hope we never have to. Without further ado, here are the 12 notable quotables from Season 3, Episode 2, “The Hybrid.”

12. Happy Father’s Day?
Caroline: “Daddy?”
Bill: “Hello, Caroline.”

11. Work hard not happy
Stefan: “I get that we’re stuck together. But if we could maybe just skip the chitchat that would be great.”
Klaus: “So much brooding. Your self-loathing is suffocating you, my friend.“

10. Oops she did it again
Mayor Lockwood [on the phone]: “I’ve gotten myself into a bit of a vampire situation.”

9. You want me to do what?
Jeremy [to Matt]: “You want me to tell Bonnie that she brought me back to life and now I’m seeing my dead girlfriend?”

8. Quit quoting me
Elena: “If you don’t come with me, I’m going by myself. What? You’re the one who told me I could handle things on my own now.”
Alaric: “I meant like frozen dinners and SATs.”

7. Decision, decisions
Klaus: “You join us or you die.“
Female Werewolf: “I’d rather die than be a vampire.”
Klaus: “Wrong choice.“

6. Good remorse
Elena [to Alaric]: “I’d feel bad if I got you killed before happy hour.“

5. Are we on the same page?
Stefan: “Is this you master plan. Build an army of hybrid slaves?“
Klaus: “No, not slaves. Soldiers. Comrades.“
Stefan: “For what war, might I ask?“
Klaus: “Oh, you don’t arm yourself after war has been declared, Stefan. You build your army so big that no one ever dares to pick a fight.“
Stefan: “What makes you so sure they’ll be loyal?“
Klaus: “It’s not difficult to be loyal when you’re on the winning team. That’s something you’ll learn once you shake that horribly depressive chip off your shoulder.“

 

Credit: Quantrell D. Colbert/The CW Photo: Elena Cools off in Season 3, Episode 2: “The Hybrid”

4. But mom!
Mayor Lockwood: “You can’t be with her. She’s a monster.“
Tyler: “You don’t know about me. Do you?“

3. Truth be told
Klaus: “You look like hell.“
Stefan: “Last I checked, I’m dying. And you don’t want to heal me.“

2. So how’s Stefan doing?
Elena: “Damon, is he okay?”
Damon: “No, he’s not okay Elena. He’s an insufferable martyr that needs his ass kicked. But he can be saved.”

1. Why you gotta hear me say it?
Elena: “Yes, I worry about you. Why do you have to hear me say it?”
Damon: “Because when I drag my brother from the edge and deliver him back to you I want you to remember the things you felt while he was gone.”