One thing we’ll never say about The Vampire Diaries: “You took the words right out of our mouths.” Elena and the gang utter things we’d never dream of saying — or at least hope we never have to. Without further ado, here are the top 15 notable quotables from Vampire Diaries Season 4, Episode 2, “Memorial.”
15. Translation: You always want something.
Bonnie, to Stefan: You’re not exactly a drop-by kind of guy.
14. That’s one heck of a love bite.
Connor Jordan, looking at Matt’s bandaged neck: What happened there?
Matt: Girlfriend went a little overboard.
13. Look who’s gone La Llorona.
Elena: I feel like I’ve been crying since my parents died. It’s like my life is a neverending funeral.
12. Calculated risk
Damon: She can’t learn to control the bloodlust if she’s never actually experienced the bloodlust. It’s a cheat. It’s like giving a kid a calculator before they know match.
11. True that
Damon, to Sheriff Forbes: If I was going to kill a bunch of people I wouldn’t blow them up. I’d have a dinner party.
10. Frenenmy much?
Liz: They were my friends.
Damon: Well, your friends tried to kill your daughter.
9. Is this another joke about Matt’s truck?
Matt, to Jeremy, about Elena: If there’s anything I can do, short of giving her a ride. Let me know.
8. Apparently, “alive” is relative.
Stefan, to Elena: You’re here, and you’re alive-ish.
7. Good grief!
Caroline: This is wrong. A bunch of people died and we’re having sex.
Tyler: Grief sex. It’s healthy.
Caroline: It’s selfish.
Tyler: It’s natural. Besides, if we stopped having sex every time somebody died in this town, we’d explode.
6. Who’s the new guy?
Damon: So, what brings you to Mystic Falls? Bible salesman?
Connor: No, actually, I’m in environmental clean-up. I heard you had a bit of a pollution problem.
Damon: Huh. Well, I was unaware. i breathe pretty easy.
5. Isn’t it always?
Stefan: I think we have a new vampire hunter in town.
Bonnie: Mm. It’s bad timing.
4. It’s hard to say good-bye.
April: What am I supposed to say? I’m sorry my dad didn’t fix the gas line?
3. Time for Plan D — as in Damon.
Damon: Your four-legged protein shake was a bust. The juice box is a no-go. She can’t even keep my blood down.
Stefan: She drank from you?
Damon: Oops. Did I say that out loud?
2. Just be
Elena: You’re still not on board with the animal plan?
Damon: Nope. I say rip off the proverbial band-aid and let it bleed. You’re a vampire. Be a vampire.
1. Ghost of a chance
Damon: You owe me big.
Alaric: I miss you too, buddy.
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