Credit: Quantrell Colbert/The CW Photo: Elena Is All ‘OMG’ in The Vampire Diaries Season 3, Episode 9, “Homecoming”

One thing we’ll never say about The Vampire Diaries: “You took the words right out of our mouths.” Elena and the gang utter things we’d never dream of saying — or at least hope we never have to. Without further ado, here are the 17 notable quotables from Season 3, Episode 9, “Homecoming.”

17. Oh the humanity!
Katherine: “Humanity is a vampire’s greatest weakness. No matter how easy it is to turn it off, It keeps trying to fight its way back in. Sometimes I let it.”

16. Oregon or Maine?
Klaus (to Stefan): “Portland is fantastic. Once you get over all the whiny music and healthy-looking people it’s literally a breeding ground for werewolves.”

15. Chivalry?
Tyler (to Caroline): “So there you go. I saved you from your own stubbornness.”

14. Dang, she’s ride-or-die
Mikael:  “You were never the one I was after.”
Rebekah: “Nick was my family. If you were after him you were after me.”

13. Unnaturally born killers
Rebekah [to Mikael]: “Nick was not born a killer. None of us were. You did this to us when you turned us into vampires. You destroyed our family. Not him.”

12. But he doesn’t look a day over 18
Stefan: “I’m one hundred and sixty two years old and I’m going to a homecoming dance. I need better ties.”
Elena: “You could not go.”
Stefan: “I’m compelled to protect you. And if I look at your track record at high school dances it’s pretty tragic. With my luck you’ll go out and get yourself murdered by the homecoming queen.”

11. He’s crafty
Tyler (to Caroline): “I’m here hanging streamers and I’ve got glitter all over my hands. If I’m sired to anybody it’s you.”

10. You’re more than okay with it
Tyler: 
“Klaus can’t be killed. I can’t be fixed. Understand that I’m okay with it.”

9. Elena, backstabbing warrior woman
Damon: “In the back. Harsh.”
Elena: “It had to be done. Rebekah was never going to be completely on our side.”
Damon: “Hey, I’m not judging you. It’s very Katherine of you.”
Elena: “Not the way to make me feel better about myself, Damon.”
Damon: “It was a compliment.”
Elena: “If someone’s going to let their humanity get in the way and screw this whole thing up it’s probably going to be me.”
Damon: “Elena, you just daggered somebody. You’re going to be fine.”

8. Killer wake you threw, bro
Tyler: “It’s not a party, man. It’s a wake.”

7. You don’t want to know
Damon: “Why feed on vampires? Don’t tell me it’s for the smooth aftertaste.”

6. And what’s a relationship without trust?
Caroline: “You’re sired to Team Klaus now and you can’t be trusted.”

5. But they can try
Mikael (about the hybrids): “They can’t kill me.”
Klaus: “True. But it will make one hell of a party game.”
 

2. Learning to let go
Elena: 
“We’ll survive this. We always survive. Trust me.”
Damon: 
“We’re never getting Stefan back. You know that, don’t you?”

3. You always have a choice
Tyler: “I’m sorry I stabbed you. It’s the only thing I could think of to get you out of there.”
Caroline: “Oh yeah? Not, ‘Hey Caroline. I’m worried about what might happen this evening. So maybe you should go home and watch Dancing with the Stars.’”

2. And enough to send the very best
Katherine: “Care Stefan. Care enough to save Damon’s life.”

1. Now that’s an ultimatum
Caroline (to Tyler): “Quit hanging out with Rebekah, the evil blood slut.”

 

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